Keep in mind everything I say is 100% avoidable and fixable and everything and I'm not blaming my circumstances for my loneliness right now but I just kind of wanted to vent about it.
So I'm at my last year of uni, which is about 6 hours from my hometown. I moved back up here after a year and a half of online school, and I've been very lonely since. Keep in mind I'm a very introverted guy so it's not like I would feel terrible after not doing anything over the weekend, but I do like to hang with my friends when I can /have the energy.
I knew I would be lonely up here at first, because all but one of my friends transferred or graduated, so to try and mitigate that I planned to make myself busy with work and school. Thing is, I'm only just now starting to work 4 weeks in because the first job I tried would only schedule me once a week and was too far to commute reliably by bus. Most of my classes have been moved online or hybrid, so I only really need to be on campus twice a week. I'm not a confident person at all when it comes to approaching people, and I've come to realize I tend to think of myself as "intruding" on other people when I approach them, which I know is being unfair to myself but whatever.
So long story short, the majority of my social interaction outside of volunteering, school and work has just been with friends from home online. I get along with the people I talk to in class and stuff, but it's very much an acquaintance type relationship and again I don't want to "intrude" by trying to get closer to people.
I know it's technically not that hard to meet and talk to people, but it's just something I never learned to do. I think I made most of my close friends through mutual friends or them approaching me, and I'd like company but fate just hasn't aligned for that so far.
Long story short, I am hard on myself about not being sociable but it makes me even less sociable which makes me feel like I'm not sociable enough etc etc
I understand. If you want advice, I have found that study groups and doing classwork together is an easy way to meet people and develop bonds. I am not sure how the pandemic has disrupted that, but the majority of my friends from undergrad I met working on homework sets together. And it is easy and not intrusive since it revolves around work that people have to get done.
Elementary through high school was nice because there was lots of forced interaction 😄 with other people the whole day. In college, it feels like everybody else might already have friends, although I guess I felt that way before too. dunno what the solution is 😆.
:meow-hug: I understand what it feels like as well. I'm also introverted and I definitely had anxiety about being "intrusive" or "bothering" people when it came to being social. I can't say what's best for you, but it can be good to find ways to shut down those kinds of thoughts since they aren't productive.
