https://archive.ph/pmj5g
At the last election, our flailing voting system gave the public a choice between a promiscuous liar and an extreme socialist, both of whom split their parties, and we’ve ended up being governed by neither of them anyway.
Perhaps we should consider a return to an onion-centric society :shrek:
I mean, the absolute monarchy part is obvious satire, he's just making an argument about CiViLiTy... which isn't good but no he's not actually a monarchist.
People this is 100% satire.
It’s sensible of the monarchy to acknowledge these straitened times by not shoving too many ingots down Charles III’s impecunious subjects’ hire-purchase widescreens. The economy is tanking, millions are frightened, poor and getting poorer and the King is showing that he gives a damn, something the government seems startlingly unable to do.
It makes me suspect that our situation might improve if we restored absolute monarchy. On current evidence, it’s a more functional arm of the state than parliamentary government. At the last election, our flailing voting system gave the public a choice between a promiscuous liar and an extreme socialist, both of whom split their parties, and we’ve ended up being governed by neither of them anyway. Instead, we’ve got a leader voted for only by a handful of rightwing club members, who manifestly lacks the confidence of the public.
Democracy and meritocracy are of course far preferable to royal autocracy, but Truss’s administration has no democratic mandate and displays no merit. Charles III seems to have just as much right to tell us what to do and could scarcely screw things up any worse.
Hexbear recognize satire when we see it challenge - Level: impossible.
the King is showing that he gives a damn, something the government seems startlingly unable to do
:doubt:
EXXXTREME SOCIALISM! is when you want to build some public housing and let people have internet.
It isn't. https://twitter.com/RealDMitchell/status/1581596835529252866
Only really the "we should totally do absolute monarchy" part is tongue in cheek. And even then I suspect he does genuinely mean it when he says absolute monarchy would be better than this government.
I'm fine with the Tories making King Charles the PM, but only because I want to see Corbyn beat his ass during questions hour.
Uh, yeah, George.. I have just noticed something. Have you looked at our crown recently?
Our crown?
Yeah, the decorations on our crown, have you looked at them?
What? No, a bit..?
It has jewels on it. Have you noticed that our crown actually has large jewels on it. I don't uh... George... are we the baddies? But why jewels though?
what?
Why jewels?
Well, maybe they are the jewels of our enemies!
Maybe, but is that how it comes across? It doesn't say next to the jewel, "You know, yeah we killed him but trust us this guy was horrid."
Well, no.
But... I mean what do jewels make you think of? Colonialism, imperialism, beheading, um, slaves..?
Slavery is fun!
I didn't say we weren't fun, but fun or not, slaveowners are still the baddies. I just can not think of anything good about a jewel.
The problem is people think a lukewarm centrist like Corbs was an "extreme socialist"
I hope this article is a joke. It's David Mitchell ffs, He's a comedian, right?
I mean, this heel turn arc sucks, but David Mitchell does seem like the exact type of guy who would be a monarchism defender.
Extreme socialism. WTF. I'm tired of this lib bullshit. I just feel sorry for the poor and marginalised people in the UK.
He's always been a milquetoast centrist snob but I would guess, without reading, that the guy who's entire act is being sarcastic is probably being sarcastic here
What if English humor was entirely sincere this whole time and they're actually a bunch of incompetent, nascassistic goobers?
Horrific bit idea: The UK does become an absolute monarchy, and actually improves in respect for the rights of minorities and shit when it cannot be voted away by the people.
It seems to me that shortening the coronation and losing a few bits no one has heard of is fine as long as it’s still a big do with everyone dressed amusingly. It doesn’t have to be coronation robes - it could be fancy dress. Or themed fancy dress! The movies! Famous villains! Pretty in pink! Vicars and tarts! Space coronation! Choosing the theme could be a new tradition. It just needs to look insane and be presented as if it’s the most unsurprising thing in the world.
I support this message. The rest of the article is very bad of course, but if a country is going to insist on having a monarchy, the ceremony should at least be completely bonkers. What's the point of clinging to ancient tradition if everybody looks normal? I want to point at an inbred weirdo in a silly costume and say "what the fuck is going on here?"
Exactly! They're not planning on making any substantial cuts to the royal wealth that would actually improve conditions for the citizens, so why not give everyone a totally bananas ceremony to gawk at?
Par for the course - the other gormless twat on Peep Show revealed himself to be an enormous Blairite Blue Labour shitbag and mangy TERF scum.
