There's a queer night club I found about 40 minutes away from me by train, I have nobody to go out with so i'm planning on going by myself next Friday. I'm nervous because I haven't gone to a club in a while and at the same time i'm going to be alone. Ideally I would want to meet some people within the first hour I guess but i'm just worried it's not going to happen and people will think i'm weird for being alone, I also don't know where I would stand or do anything. I have no idea what i'm doing lol
you're going to a place where almost everyone is open to meeting strangers. just find someone you think is cute or whatever and say hi. if you cant figure out how to converse with them try someone else, it's not always your fault lol
Definitely hard! I was there a year or two ago but managed to break through and make dancing friends which has been really good for me. One good way to get ready would be to try and have fun dancing in the mirror alone. At least get used to moving and get a basic hip movement and tap/step to be automatic so you don't have to think about it. Like others have said, most people are at clubs (esp. queer clubs!) to be social and relax. There might be one or two jerks but they are genuinely outliers, and no one is going to really notice you until you try and strike up a conversation.
Wear a simple outfit you feel good in and is comfortable to move in plus one or two statement accessories. A lot of times people will say something nice about them because it feels good to be nice, or because they are also awkward and are looking for a way to start conversations. For example, I usually just wear out jeans I like and a white t-shirt or a fetish top depending on the event with a fun belt and earrings. I've met a lot of people in passing who say something about one of those two things!
It also helps to have a few kind of oddball, low-stakes, generic questions ready to go so you don't get too flustered until there's an organic hook to the conversation. I always ask people their favorite color. One time, I was talking with this guy and we weren't really connecting. Then I asked him, he said 'blue', I said "what kind of blue," and then he told me about the Blue of the Crater Lake and we talked about colors and water for like an hour and had a great time. People are there to take a break from themselves and the "normal world" (esp. at queer events!) and are more accepting of weird or dreamy behavior!!!
Ultimately, you should listen to your gut and your body about how you are feeling. If it's really not somewhere you feel comfortable or ready to be by yourself, you'll probably be happier calling it an early night and not being whiped out the next day. Not every space/club/party/night is going to work for you and that's okay. It's important to put yourself out there and try and big big big kudos to you!
I can honestly say that starting to dance and dance with other people has been one of the most important steps in building a healthy relationship with my body and sexuality. It might not be your path, but that's why I put so much into this lol.
earrings are probably the easiest thing to find if you have pierced ears! I got these big black hoops shaped like hearts for like $8 at a shop. Find something loud and silly you don't feel ridiculous in.
It isn't weird. Plenty of older queers in repressive countries had their main nightclub experience by going there alone and getting into the community. There are a couple in my vicinity which offer that you call them / the org and then they have basically newbie ambassadors so that you feel comfy :)
Other queer clubs don't have that. I found it nice, though.
You should be fine as long as you don't try to leave during the post club credits scene
This is the absolute worst time to be smoking in night clubs. You'll catch covid and then your lungs will melt and you'll die.
Is not I've been kissing people on the mouth the whole time, just like the CDC said!
Wear a mask. You will get a disabled person killed otherwise.
If anyone gives you shit for it, they prob were not going to be a good friend or potential partner in the first place.
i've gone clubbing a few time alone this year — both at queer and non-queer night clubs — and it's been pretty fun. just order yourself a drink when you get there and try to look approachable (don't stare down at your phone etc.). if it turns out to be a bad time you can always just go home early
You can always chat with the bartenders first. They tend to be nice as long as they aren't absolutely slammed and might know some regulars who they could get you in with.
Once you're feeling comfortable just migrate to the dance floor and start talking to people. If you get uncomfortable you can always just go back to standing at the bar or leave.
Depends, the one I always go to actually has 2 bars. One by the floor and another tucked around the corner that's quieter for people to go relax. My first move wherever I go somewhere new is to talk to the bartender.
If it's too loud, just hang out there and look for other people that seem to be alone
Is it weird? Maybe.
But do people who think it's weird to go to social venues to meet people and have fun by yourself have opinions you should care about? I say no. If they're such boring dorks that they would judge people for going dancing they're not worth paying mind to.
That's how I get by. Whenever I start to feel embarrassed I remind myself that I don't value most of the opinions that most Americans have about anything, so I'm certainly not going to value their opinions about how I behave in public. Most people are boring and have boring ideas of normalcy.
