The Democratic Unionist party (DUP) is on track to lose three of its eight seats, which would leave Sinn Féin as the Northern Ireland party with most MPs.
The DUP lost the Lagan Valley seat vacated by its former leader, Sir Jeffrey Donaldson, who faces sexual offence charges, and suffered a stunning defeat in North Antrim where Ian Paisley lost a seat held by his family since 1970. It also lost South Antrim and had reduced majorities elsewhere.
The Traditional Unionist Voice (TUV), Ulster Unionists and Alliance were poised to take the DUP seats but the symbolic winner will be Sinn Féin which retained its seven seats and is on course to complete a hat-trick as the biggest party in local government, the Stormont assembly and Westminster.
The DUP leader, Gavin Robinson, fended off a challenge from Alliance’s Naomi Long in East Belfast but that could not conceal a devastating election for unionism’s biggest party.
Its record on Brexit and other missteps left it squeezed between moderate and hardline rivals.
In an astonishing reversal in North Antrim, Paisley, the son and namesake of the DUP’s late founder, came second to Jim Allister of the TUV, who blamed the DUP for post-Brexit checks on goods coming from Great Britain, which he said weakened Northern Ireland’s place in the UK.
2024 Ireland is reunified
2025 Scotland is emboldened by the Irish and leave the United Kingdom forming an independent Scotland
Late 2025 King Charles dies publicly after his engorged sausage finger pops and the blood loss can't be stopped due to previously unknown hemophilia from all the COUSIN DIDDLING his family engaged in
2026 (now King) William is shot by a Welsh independence dissident
Later 2026/2027 subsequent crackdowns and resistance result in the deaths of all the main royal family members. Nigel Firage is unceremoniously guillotined at some point. Monarchists are demanding Harry return to England and take the crown but he continues to fully renounce all his titles (but not the wealth) due to fear and knowledge of a plot to assassinate him immediately upon return to England. Joe Biden, a withered mummy at this point, demands the US military build a pier on the river Thames to supply the remains of parliament and its guards (just like Gaza, Jack!) before being informed by his loving wife that he stepped down as president two years before and it's time for bedtime pudding. Trump is on TV ranting about how he would love to help the beautiful city of London, but they treated us very unfairly... very unfairly when they refused to contribute more to NATO spending.
Just a long list of cool/funny shit I'd perhaps like to see
It's high time we kicked every last Norman bastard out of England!