This is why workers forced movies and shows to put everyone in the closing credits.

Y'all need to unionize.

Glass half full approach: "I am the single most cited author in existence"

scholars R1 uni PR team: "become a scholar! it'll give you more opportunities in the future!"

scholars: "there are too many scholars!"

On the opposite side, being the only person working in the lab (especially when dealing with animal models) can be absolutely miserable - ask me how I know...

Simple fix, change legal name to Al.