You are not Winston. You are not in the Party. You are a prole. The party doesn't give a shit about what you think, do or say. The only exception is if you pose a meaningful threat to the Party. In which case, the Republican-Democrat Party, the Capitalist Party of the United States of America will threaten you, disappear you, etc, etc, just like they have done to every threat in American history.
Orwell was a garbage person but he did have talent as a writer. Part of the reason people can get through the ham fisted political messaging in 1984 is that it’s very readable, as is Animal Farm.
His non-fiction is actually a fun read, and he’s very good at describing misery and melancholy, they guy was also just an angry miserable git who through he was smarter than everyone. Yah know like most writers.