As far back as I remember I always wanted to be a shit poster
Big band Jazz music
Singer crooning: "I know I'd go from rags to riches"
To me, getting to be on reddit was better than being president of the united states
eversince I saw my first meme I knew I wanted to be part of it
Guys on reddit were fricken hilarious, they said what they wanted. I couldn't believe it but some of these guys were even more autistic than I was
and I didn't have many friends at school so my mother was happy that I found something to do that wasn't just sitting in the basement making lists of people that I wanted to kill
doo wop music
being online was like being part of a crew, a crew of dudes, dudes who rocked. I joined all the best subs; cumtown, wallstreet bets... that was it, wallstreet bets was the best
.. anyway one day giraffepussy posted about how a bunch of hedgefunds all put short positions in gamestop and wouldn't it be fun if we all bought shares just to mess with them
well I didn't know what any of that meant but I knew what gamestop was, my grandma used to take me there if I was good and buy me PS3 games, so I figured what did I have to lose. I put all my money into gamestop at four dollars a share and wouldn't you know it the stockprice rose over seventeen hundred percent
and when that happened some very powerful people got upset
amber news reader:
"yesterday may have been a good day for retail investors with posts on reddit skyrocketing the price of gamestop but many analysists are seeing this trend for what it is... a war, a war between reddit and the civilized world. Could the toxic men of these online communities be coming to your house to kill you? more at 11"
see people think that when you're a redditor you're only there to do coordinated harrassment and say slurs but that's really not true, I mean thats only like half of us.. but it didn't matter. And this is where things got bad.
60s rock riff
First they shutdown the sub's discord chat for hatespeech and set the group to private. The price of gamestop plummeted. The boys and I did everything we could to get the stock to rally; share memes, we posted, we increased our positions.. but it wasn't enough. The establishment wanted to scare people and it was working. Everyone in the sub was saying don't sell but it felt like the house was winning. My portfolio took a fucking nosedive. I panicked. And this was where I messed up.
sombre piano playing
I figured if the big boys could short the stock, I could too. And that's what I did. I borrowed shares and waited for the price to drop and right after that robinhood halted the buying of gamestop and the stock dropped seventy percent. I tripled my money and cashed out. And then I got really stupid, I started posting about my new PS5 and my Ikea bedframe. The guys in the sub knew something was up. It didn't take them long to figure out I had shorted the stock and once they did I got a lifetime ban from the sub. And that was it. Once they found out they permanently kicked me off the platform.
That following march Senator Elizabeth Warren drafted a bill banning more than four men to be on the same thread and President Kamala Harris signed it into law. And all I had was my bedframe and my PS5 and my seven hundred thousand dollars, which I put into dogecoin which ended up being a pump and dump and my PS5 broke when I threw it into a wall.
And that was that.
All I have now is thirty two hundred dollars and chequeing account.
Thirty two hundred bucks to never post again.
It wasn't even enough to go to therapy.
As far back as I remember I always wanted to be a shit poster
Big band Jazz music
Singer crooning: "I know I'd go from rags to riches"
To me, getting to be on reddit was better than being president of the united states
eversince I saw my first meme I knew I wanted to be part of it
Guys on reddit were fricken hilarious, they said what they wanted. I couldn't believe it but some of these guys were even more autistic than I was
and I didn't have many friends at school so my mother was happy that I found something to do that wasn't just sitting in the basement making lists of people that I wanted to kill
doo wop music
being online was like being part of a crew, a crew of dudes, dudes who rocked. I joined all the best subs; cumtown, wallstreet bets... that was it, wallstreet bets was the best
.. anyway one day giraffepussy posted about how a bunch of hedgefunds all put short positions in gamestop and wouldn't it be fun if we all bought shares just to mess with them
well I didn't know what any of that meant but I knew what gamestop was, my grandma used to take me there if I was good and buy me PS3 games, so I figured what did I have to lose. I put all my money into gamestop at four dollars a share and wouldn't you know it the stockprice rose over seventeen hundred percent
and when that happened some very powerful people got upset
amber news reader: "yesterday may have been a good day for retail investors with posts on reddit skyrocketing the price of gamestop but many analysists are seeing this trend for what it is... a war, a war between reddit and the civilized world. Could the toxic men of these online communities be coming to your house to kill you? more at 11"
see people think that when you're a redditor you're only there to do coordinated harrassment and say slurs but that's really not true, I mean thats only like half of us.. but it didn't matter. And this is where things got bad.
60s rock riff
First they shutdown the sub's discord chat for hatespeech and set the group to private. The price of gamestop plummeted. The boys and I did everything we could to get the stock to rally; share memes, we posted, we increased our positions.. but it wasn't enough. The establishment wanted to scare people and it was working. Everyone in the sub was saying don't sell but it felt like the house was winning. My portfolio took a fucking nosedive. I panicked. And this was where I messed up.
sombre piano playing
I figured if the big boys could short the stock, I could too. And that's what I did. I borrowed shares and waited for the price to drop and right after that robinhood halted the buying of gamestop and the stock dropped seventy percent. I tripled my money and cashed out. And then I got really stupid, I started posting about my new PS5 and my Ikea bedframe. The guys in the sub knew something was up. It didn't take them long to figure out I had shorted the stock and once they did I got a lifetime ban from the sub. And that was it. Once they found out they permanently kicked me off the platform.
That following march Senator Elizabeth Warren drafted a bill banning more than four men to be on the same thread and President Kamala Harris signed it into law. And all I had was my bedframe and my PS5 and my seven hundred thousand dollars, which I put into dogecoin which ended up being a pump and dump and my PS5 broke when I threw it into a wall.
And that was that. All I have now is thirty two hundred dollars and chequeing account. Thirty two hundred bucks to never post again. It wasn't even enough to go to therapy.
And now I'm nobody.
I'm a normie.
I get to live the rest of my life like a soyboy.
Amber.