I'm posting this in askchapo instead of mentalhealth because I really want to hear other people's opinions.

I have an office job and it's pretty easy. I can pretty much leave (sneak out) whenever I want and not get caught, I get along with the people who I work with (most of the time) and I make a pretty good wage relative to how much and how hard I work.

But I fucking hate it. I'm trans and I'm at a point in my life where I don't think I can live in the closet much longer. I struggle to get out of bed most mornings and I contemplate killing myself a lot lately. I'm not allowed very much freedom of expression in how I dress and act at work. My bosses are transphobic and I get harassed by one of them just for having long hair. My mental health has dropped significantly in the past few months and I need to move on.

The problem is what I have to sacrifice in order to leave. I don't have a college degree and the jobs within a reasonable distance of where I live are mostly retail or fast food, so I'll have to take a significant pay cut unless I somehow manage to find a job that pays about as much I do now that also allows me to just be myself. I have a lot of money saved up but I need to use that for my transition and surgeries and such.

I feel trapped and I guess I just want someone to give me permission to leave. My family doesn't really understand just how much of a drain having to put on this act so they're not that supportive of me quitting. They give me the spiel about "we just want you to be happy" but they also think I should just tough it out until I get a degree. I don't really know what to do.