I am sick of being sad literally 24/7 never have any motivation for anything all I do is sleep and work my home is a disaster but every time I try to clean I get suicidal I barely exist as a person I do nothing. Everything I have ever tried has failed how do I break this cycle I feel no satisfaction from anything and instead of feeling good about completing a difficult task I just feel tired and worse for it

Don't say therapy been there done that it's a fucking bullshit capitalist scam talking about your problems doesn't make them go away and neither does taking numbness pills