Okay that makes it kind of clearer but i think we're dealing with two issues here.

One is the emotional blindness which most men are conditioned in by patriarchy. When i wanted to talk to my best friend about being autistic he simply laughed it off first. I didn't really know who to talk to in this case, i've been living among dudes since i was 14 so every message i got was that i gotta suppress that shit and so was everyone i lived with. It took years of self reflection for me to wade through all that shit but what started me off was that there was someone i could be open with my feelings about and someone who was willing to "wipe my ass" in that regards.

The other is the physical needs which i don't even really have a hold of. I haven't been living at home since i was 14 so i've learned to take care of myself in that regard fairly quickly and i didn't experience in my friend circles that it was so fucked up with other young men or haven't really thought about it but now that you say it it is indeed a problem.