My divorce is going terribly and I'm coping with a bit account about potatoes.

i feel like shit

i just wanna accomplish something, man. I want to make art but I can never force myself to learn how to do anything. without a creative outlet I’m left with thousands of thoughts and feelings I’m unable to express

beyond just learning, my perfectionism stops me from trying. I can get to the point where I’ve decided to do something, sit down, try to do it, hit a roadblock (the buttons on the drawing tablet don’t work in Linux, the code doesn’t compile, I’m just tonedeaf, I can’t come up with dialog or lyrics or a design, etc.) and I get embarassed and ashamed of my own inability and give up, not trying again for months or years

i’m so old i shouldn’t still be dealing with this garbage

Had to go up on my meds again this week, always leaves me twitchy and feeling weird for a few weeks. Up side is my mental health is noticably improving, haven't had a bad manic episode in a few months.

ive forced myself into a situation where reading is legitimately the most interesting & productive thing i can do and i still cant summon the will

also very tires :sleepi:

Still fighting with a lot of different people rn trying to get my medication 😔✌️love to be treated like a junkie for wanting my brain to work properly, my dosage isn't even super high compared to everyone else with adhd I know

I realize there probably aren't any doctors on this site, so I'm just going to informally list some of my lifelong symptoms. I think I may be autistic. I'm also a new poster here, so 👋

• I've been prone to anger outbursts my entire life

• A lot of the friendships I've made throughout my life have only been possible because they involved some sort of obsession by me (music, media, sports, etc).

• It feels like I'm acting and putting on a show each time I try to show emotion towards someone (I've mastered this for the most part)

• I become extremely anxious when put into unfamiliar social situations

• i go through periods of obsessing over specific things and usually don't like things to change (unless that change dramatically improves my life)

So yeah idk how my parents looked past all of this. It would explain a lot that my parents just attributed to anxiety. Can any of y'all relate?

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:agony: :agony: :agony: :agony: man I just moved out of state and I've been trying to find a psychiatrist who's accepting new patients and finally got someone to talk to me and he's an old dude with outdated info on adhd treatments and won't fucking prescribe stimulants to adults what the fuuuuuuck

So now instead of finally getting more of the medication that has tremendously improved my life with absolutely zero side effects I get to start from square fucking 1 figuring out the correct dosage of some other bullshit because some dipshit who just told me I don't have ADHD even though Ive been diagnosed with it because I have a college degree and a Professional(tm) job, and therefore I don't get to actually get treatment for it what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck

Involuntarily committed and it's fine except for the fact that none of the white nurses take me seriously about ANYTHING and accuse me of hypochondria.

TIL I have an ADHD diagnosis

my mom just forgot to tell me that teensy detail for my entire life so far its fine