It's some kind of coping mechanism, I think, having experienced the same kind of attitude but not to the degree in the OP. It's like a "why do I have to be miserable, be forced to work this job and do this to take care of you but you don't have to it too?" kind of thing. Parents wanting to share misery because handling it all alone hurts too much. It gets rationalized as building character and work ethic, which just like super strict parenting, usually backfires. But the source is a desire to share your pain with others by inflicting it on them too. Or it's a jealously. You go through so much shit to keep your children comfortable and it's something you yourself can't have. You have to take the burden of responsibility and labor for them. The solution being that we as a society need to unburden parents.
this feels right. on top of that, i think people who become parents at a young age (like the ones who think they should be making tiktok videos even though they have 7 year old kids - get off that shit, mom, you're old) haven't always developed an understanding of the world, so they just continue shit they see happening around them without critically analyzing it. like, a kid should brush his teeth because it's the right thing to do, not cuz you get paid (or lose money) if you don't. intrinsic rewards >
It's some kind of coping mechanism, I think, having experienced the same kind of attitude but not to the degree in the OP. It's like a "why do I have to be miserable, be forced to work this job and do this to take care of you but you don't have to it too?" kind of thing. Parents wanting to share misery because handling it all alone hurts too much. It gets rationalized as building character and work ethic, which just like super strict parenting, usually backfires. But the source is a desire to share your pain with others by inflicting it on them too. Or it's a jealously. You go through so much shit to keep your children comfortable and it's something you yourself can't have. You have to take the burden of responsibility and labor for them. The solution being that we as a society need to unburden parents.
this feels right. on top of that, i think people who become parents at a young age (like the ones who think they should be making tiktok videos even though they have 7 year old kids - get off that shit, mom, you're old) haven't always developed an understanding of the world, so they just continue shit they see happening around them without critically analyzing it. like, a kid should brush his teeth because it's the right thing to do, not cuz you get paid (or lose money) if you don't. intrinsic rewards >