:specter:

Gather 'round, boys and ghouls! Tonight I bring you a tale of chills and thrills! So sit tight and get ready for a fright as I tell you the spooky story of:

Night of the London Toffs: The curse of the British!

One dark and spooky Halloween night in the rural USA, a man named Sven decided to go and buy some beer. It was like, super dark out so he got lost. Somehow he managed to end up in the middle of a forest and face to face with the devil himself!

"Boo. It's me, Satan." Said the Devil devilishly. "You've interrupted my infernal poop. Yeah, I poop in the woods. Like a bear."

Sven was rightfully terrified. "I'm sorry Satan! I didn't mean it, don't hurt me!"

But the Devil wasn't having any of that bullshit. "Too late motherfucker I'm cursing you. You'll be visited by a demon tomorrow and for the rest of your life."

The next morning, Sven wondered when the spooky demon was going to show up. "That's weird, it's 7 am and I don't see a demon yet. Maybe it was just a nightmare. I guess I better go have my breakfast."

Sven went into the kitchen and started making breakfast, but when he went to make a cup of tea he found all of his tea was gone!

"Where did all my tea go?" Sven wondered out loud.

"I say old chap. Are you perhaps talking about my tea?" Said a posh London accented voice.

Sven turned around and saw... AN ENGLISH MAN :scared: :screm: :kitty-cri-screm:

The slimy Brit was drinking Sven's tea. He had horrible broken teeth, a pastel lavender three-piece suit despite the hot summer weather and pasty white skin that mysteriously only had color in the form of a flushed and unhealthy looking red on his nose and cheeks. There was no doubt in Sven's mind that this must be the demon the Devil had sent to torment him.

"Give me my tea and go back to hell, demon!" Sven wailed.

"My good fellow, I'm not from hell. I'm from Kensington." The demon responded while holding out his pinky. "And as I said. This tea is my property and so is this home. I purchased the deed to everything on this land quite fairly and legally."

"Noooooooooo! damn you Satan! You've cursed me with the worst of all demons" Sven cried out in horror.

From then on, the demon followed Sven everywhere and claimed ownership of anything Sven saw. Sven spent the rest of his life paying rent to live in his own home and drink his own tea.

Let this be a lesson to you, don't get lost on Halloween or the British might get you! :british-maw: