This is a real question I really like the fantasy setting even the world building but for love of all that is holy why I can I not find anything that isn't horny and gross, I just have fond memory of playing online fantasy games with friends, I feel like i'm losing my mind Is it so much to ask for a good story maybe even romance and but with no silly male power fantasy/ fanservice? :inshallah: I will take any suggestions that meet the non horny/ no useless female characters/ shitty male characters I feel like I'm asking for too much.
Check out "Twelve Kingdoms". 42 episodes and it plays out a bit like El Hazard minus the fan service. Also, pretty much the opposite of "useless female" archetype.
Escaflowne is another excellent Iskai. Easily one of my favorite anime, it came out at the same time as Evangelion, so it has a similar art style and pacing. The main character is definitely a fish-out-of-water, but she's pivotal to the plot and an engaging protagonist.
Finally - and this is only Iskai in the broadest sense, but it does have some great world building - if you can get through the silliness of the first four or five episodes, Trigun always had a special place in my heart.