I’ve been told repeatedly that texts aren’t a good measure of understanding a person’s commitment in a relationship and the only thing that matters is meeting in person but I don’t want to disqualify the effect and necessity of of texting which is just an evolution of our methods of communicating. I’ve been seeing this person for about two months now and I understand they’re busy but I feel less assurance when I write a text only to get a response about an hour or two later, it really makes me feel like I’m not that important in their life. A recent development in texting has alarmed me somewhat, since the last date we had they have been less responsive to texting so yesterday I waited until they texted me first which they did but we haven’t had a full text conversation since about Monday - Tuesday of last week.
We texted today but I mentioned at the end of the text something like “if there’s anything on your mind I’m here to listen” and they still haven’t responded to it. Something feels “off” and it could be a multitude of reasons or it could be nothing at all and me overthinking things as I usually do. I don’t know how to navigate in relationships, being my first relationship I don’t really know what to expect from any of it so for me to be oblivious and scared I don’t think is abnormal.
next time I see them I’m gonna develop a relationship
It can take me half a day to respond to my boyfriends texts and we live in the same house lol sometimes people be busy its nothing big. My general rule of thumb for texting is 24 hours for a response before I think something is wrong.
However i know how you feel I used to over analyse text interactions but my advice is this... Stop doing it, it legit will only drive you insane and the other party generally will be very confused by it. Most people i know don't think this way about texting and tbh I don't think its good for you. At least it wasn't good for me it made me very unwell.
Dnow if this helps but i kinda try and treat texting like email in my head and it helped divorce the "instant" part of from the way i perceive it. Easier said than done but take it from me, someone who spent the better part of my life hyper analysing everyone and everything. It gets you nowhere fast and results in pointless anguish.