crab time

  • Weebus [comrade/them]
    ·
    3 years ago

    what if the queen dies and boris johnson is booted from tory leadership at the same time

        • jack [he/him, comrade/them]
          ·
          edit-2
          3 years ago

          "How did this American communist end up in charge of an institution he despises?"

          I plop down awkwardly into a low-budget throne and have Prince Blimblam kneel down to be my footstool

          "Is he ready to rule?"

          I confidently hang up a phone. A British submarine rises from the sea and fires a missile towards Washington DC. We see the POTUS blaming Russia and then getting turned into a skeleton.

          "Is he ready to learn?"

          I open the Royal family album and it's all pictures of pedophilic crimes

          "Is he ready to love?"

          I'm on a date with an Engl*shwoman. It's going great. I lean into kiss her. She says something terfy. I snap my fingers and a guard in a funny hat bayonets her. We cut to a new date where you only see me. I'm laughing and tucking my hair behind my ear. The camera pans: my date is Xi Jinping.

          "Coming soon to Freeform:"

          DUP members sobbing in a military prison as a flag rises over a United Irish Republic

          "King Comrade"

    • Mardoniush [she/her]
      ·
      3 years ago

      I will reluctantly take the solemn position of Lady Protector of the British Commonwealth.