I can't speak for everyone's experience, but SNRI's have been absolutely life-changing for me. I absolutely still feel like myself. Just not crippled by anxiety and depression. Like, I'm still aware of everything. I'm not numb. But my brain isn't firing so hard that it makes me curl up into a little ball.

People can come take my effexor from my cold dead hands, lol.

And it did take several weeks until I got stable on them. it does feel funny at first because your brain is trying to figure out what the heck is going on and what levels you need.

edit: in terms of side effects, I get vivid dreams--though that's started to get better. and I had some sexual dysfunction at first, but that's almost completely gone away now. basically just had to "practice", so to speak.