Edit: Okay, wow. if the statement from a woman of “we owe you nothing” immediately sets you off emotionally, I would really encourage you to think through why that might be.
A more systemic phrasing could have been “we owe the patriarchy nothing”. I changed it to that for a second before realizing, again, that it was fine. A guy that has worked through internalized patriarchy around this will understand it’s not about them.
Patriarchy on the whole conditions men towards having a sense of entitlement towards women’s bodies, time, attention, labor, etc. It also conditions women that they should feel obligated to provide this without setting boundaries or expecting reciprocal solidarity.
Remember, we literally all have degrees of internalized bigotry, misogyny, racism, transphobia, etc because these are systemic issues. Our responsibility to ourselves and our comrades is to work through that. You are not a bad person for finding those brainworms in yourself, only if you refuse to do the work to address them.
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Yeah but they're paid and trained to do this? I feel like this is a major difference that feels disingenuous to leave out.
This 100%. They’re being paid for their time and are opting into that role.
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:downbear:
Someone agrees with me on the site.
3 or was 2 up bears can’t deny I am right to some people here.
that or you have an alt
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You should really read some feminist theory on this and look into how this functions systemically.
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Nope I wasn’t where is the proof
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You shouldn’t assume women will do that work. At no point does this say you should get a therapist, although that is a good idea if you can afford it or find community-funded group therapy.
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Sure, but is it reciprocal? A lot of times men (not all) around me will just dump a lot of heavy stuff, then will just interrupt or ignore whenever I would like to share too. It feels dehumanizing. That's the main thing I see that I think this poster tries to point out.
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this is the exact dismissive sentiment people were complaining about in reverse
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you could just as well ask why men don't simply make male friends who can provide them with emotional support
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You keep twisting both comrades words and talking at them instead of listening and discussing in good faith
my point was both cases are simple solutions that are also not nearly as easy as they sound
like telling a depressed person to cheer up
Literally not terf shit. it is strange for you to throw that at people for standard third-wave queer feminist critiques of patriarchy
You literally just did exactly what she was talking about…
This is my experience too a lot of the time but I think we have to recognize that it’s the capitalist programming that causes people to act that selfishly/without consideration for others. The brainworms run deep and the process of prying them out in order to build sincere and stable relationships takes time and often encouragement and support. Don’t waste your time on people unwilling to unlearn but in my experience the friends worth keeping are the ones open to criticism and self-improvement towards being a better friend