Long story short, my GF is from a race that my bigot father has told me horrible racist shit about for years, just boilerplate Fox News-level analysis of why to hate and fear X race. They met for the first time, and after she left I told him I was uncomfortable introducing them bc of his bigotry. He got all, "I'm not looking at her as X, I'm looking at her as your girlfriend", but I was like "I don't fucking care how you want to justify it, you're a racist bigot and all you're capable of doing is repeating whatever fascist ideology you watch on TV. It doesn't make me feel any better that you think she's 'one of the good ones.'" Then I left.
I've thought that for a long time, finally said it, but I feel horrible about it - it doesn't exactly make me feel good to make an old man feel angry and sad. But at the end of the day it's his own god damn fault for subjecting me to bigoted ideology for decades.
just had to vent a lil bit thanks comrades :meow-hug:
i think you did the right thing of course, but its also totally valid to feel bad about being so harsh. i obviously don't know what your relationship with your dad has been like bigotry aside but most of us are really thoroughly conditioned to care a lot about our parents feelings. i wouldnt say this is some devious brain poison but it sure is inconvenient in situations like this. so i guess make sure you don't like, judge yourself for feeling conflicted about this. it's not easy to call people out like that so we're all proud of you for doing it. more people need to be able to.
yeah a lot of the time parents are just people who care about you and obviously the social bonds that tie you to them are good.
It's when parents are abusive that this becomes bad