Hey friends, I had an interaction at work today that has really left me bummed out. I'm a corporate trainer with 8 years of experience. I have taught multiple subjects over the years to a wide and diverse range of students. One of the things I pride myself on most is being highly aware of my audience, and presenting in a way that is sensitive to their unique backgrounds and life experiences. The last thing I would ever want to do is make anyone in my class feel unwanted, uncomfortable, or outright offended by anything I would say.

Yesterday, I was teaching a new topic, with a new team and new manager. The new content team and new manager had been observing the other trainers all week, and it was my day to present. When starting the class, I opened with a short joke that I've used many times in the past. I'm opening up the presentation, and I start to introduce myself, saying in a somber voice: "Hi, my name is ElChango, and I've been sober for 24...ooops! Wrong meeting! Where was I?" And everyone laughed, and then I moved on with the rest of my presentation without a hitch.

Today, my manager told me he wanted to speak with me after class. When meeting, he told me that he had received feedback from "others in the class" that the above comment had offended them. He immediately pivoted and said that he was the one who found it inappropriate, saying that 'he was in recovery, but not for alcohol', that the joke 'did not land for him' and that I should not tell jokes without knowing my audience. I simply told him that I would never say it again and the call ended.

First of all, I was under the impression that my comment was self-deprecating - the joke being that I forgot which meeting I was in. I was not making fun of 12 step programs, I was not targeting anyone based on their participation in said programs, nor was I making fun of anyone suffering from the disease of addiction. Also, I have participated in 12 step programs in the past. Furthermore, what especially pains me is how hard I try to be inclusive of everyone in my class - it feels very bad to even think that I've hurt someone in this way.

I believe that I am being retaliated against because last week, prior to launching this new training content, I was very vocal in my dissent of the quality of the new content - content that my manager and his team were responsible for creating. Also, there were other individuals in this class throughout the week who deviated from the script and injected their own jokes, stories, and commentaries - but they were complimented profusely in our shared team chat. My manager never complimented my performance, verbally or in chat, and made no further commentary on my work other than what was said in that private conversation. And finally, when my manager was claiming he was offended by comment, he was trying to say my comment back to me - but he misquoted me, not even remembering what I had actually said.

What do you think? Asshole or retaliation?

Edit: Thank you all for your feedback. I mulled it over, and decided that regardless of the circumstances, I did not want to offend anyone, including my boss. I called to explain to him that the joke was self-deprecating, that I was in recovery myself, and that I was sorry if had hurt anyone. As soon as I explained that, he immediately backed off and was very understanding. With regards to retaliation - it's possible that other members of my team were hoping to use this event to gain leverage, but I believe that at least for now my boss and I are on the same page. I certainly won't be using the joke anymore.