I work with kids and think a lot about this. I could talk about this forever but I'll just share a few thoughts.
The problem with fixing it, as I see, it is that kids at that age don't really take cues about how to act from adults, or at least the anti-social ones don't. Inter-kid culture is very strong and has an internal logic that is learned from older kids and it is very hard to dislodge ideas.
There is a certain amount of sorting out of "pecking order" that is somewhat built-in, or natural, which sucks. You are dealing with a bunch of undeveloped brains learning healthy and unhealthy ways to be social in a group that has their own hegemonic ideas about what is valuable within that group. I think in that environment it is natural for kids who are socially well-developed to end up on the top of this order, and kids who are behind socially to end up on the bottom. This doesn't mean that violence and mean-spiritedness is baked-in, but it is going to be natural that kids look up to and want to invite to their birthday party the kid who is socially mature, while the kid who really hasn't figured it out yet will probably not be invited to the birthday parties.
I think where this goes from just a natural understanding of difference (like say understanding who is fast and slow at sprinting ) to bullying is when it is combined with a drive to achieve social cache by deliberately performing anti-social acts. I think this is a broader problem than simply bullying, but extends to more general rule-breaking in reckless and destructive ways where a victim to the act exists.
I think this is where we have a lever to pull. I think in the west we tend to infantilize kids. We give them no freedom, respect or responsibility, despite how deeply these things are craved by kids. When we systemically refuse kids any agency, some will submit but some will unconsciously strive to perform acts that are uniquely their own to receive recondition and praise for them.
Many kids find ways to pursue passions that they can be good at and they end up serving as psychic proxies for actual agency and independence, satiating this drive in a positive way - they feel they have legitimate value to offer the tribe and feel rewarded and recognized for it. This might be kids who are naturally good at academic subjects, or maybe even some other weird thing they're into like ballet, guitar, whatever. What's important is they feel like they receive social cache and feel validated as a legitimate member of the pack who gets to be confident that they not under threat of being cast out of it.
Most kids don't have that source of feeling of unique value. Out of those kids there is a subset who are going to force it - seek out their independence themselves. However, when you are completely controlled the only agency you really have is to break rules, that's the only thing you can do that is uncontroversially truly an act of your own doing. Kids performing these acts immediately receive the type of social cache from the kids surrounding them, breaking rules (which can be in the form of bullying) become as Skinner box where when you press the button you get the dopamine, this dopamine attending to the distress you feel from feeling you're old enough to take responsibility but not having any freedom to exercise that freedom.
Holy shit I've been typing on my phone for forever and I was just about to get to my actual thoughts on the question at hand but my partner has made breakfast for me. I'll return to finish up .
I don't think you'll ever eliminate bullying, but I think it can be reduced. I think you can attack this problem from a few different directions.
you can reduce the perceived threat of not being considered valuable by the tribe
you can increase the perception of value to the tribe
you can decrease differences in social maturity
you can decrease the social cache associated with victimizing other kids
So, within this framework I think you can imagine a lot of different ways we could change things to reduce bullying. I think ultimately the most powerful (and hardest to achieve) would be a cultural revolution in the west that fundamentally changes our way of treating children in the home and community so kids feel respected, listened to, included in decision making and valued contributors to the community. While this may not feel attainable, I think it does frame the problem as intergenerational and it needs to be thought of on that time frame.
Failing that, addressing income inequality can play a big role. Doing so increases the likelihood that parents have opportunities to spend time with their children, giving meaningful guidance and intervention, paying attention to their development, freeing up opportunity think about how their kids are developing and giving them resources to address deviation. This can reduce differences in social maturity and also decrease the perceived threat of being thrown from the tribe. This can do a lot but does not address the social psycho rich kid bully - that is something different much more akin to sociopathy and is a different conversation. In theory it might actually help by reducing their privilege, but only if you are able to almost eliminate it will you eliminate them.
In addition, expanding social programs so kids can get involved in many different types of activities to give them opportunities to find ways they can feel uniquely valuable by the community in positive outlets.
And lastly this feels lib but I have seen a big difference in kids over the past generation with simple directed education about emotions, empathy and normalizing acceptance of difference. This addresses the fourth point. Over my time I've seen the biggest difference on this metric, as bullying is growing more likely to be seen by other kids as lame or pathetic, an act to be looked down upon.
Anyhow those are some of my thoughts hope that helps.
I work with kids and think a lot about this. I could talk about this forever but I'll just share a few thoughts.
The problem with fixing it, as I see, it is that kids at that age don't really take cues about how to act from adults, or at least the anti-social ones don't. Inter-kid culture is very strong and has an internal logic that is learned from older kids and it is very hard to dislodge ideas.
There is a certain amount of sorting out of "pecking order" that is somewhat built-in, or natural, which sucks. You are dealing with a bunch of undeveloped brains learning healthy and unhealthy ways to be social in a group that has their own hegemonic ideas about what is valuable within that group. I think in that environment it is natural for kids who are socially well-developed to end up on the top of this order, and kids who are behind socially to end up on the bottom. This doesn't mean that violence and mean-spiritedness is baked-in, but it is going to be natural that kids look up to and want to invite to their birthday party the kid who is socially mature, while the kid who really hasn't figured it out yet will probably not be invited to the birthday parties.
I think where this goes from just a natural understanding of difference (like say understanding who is fast and slow at sprinting ) to bullying is when it is combined with a drive to achieve social cache by deliberately performing anti-social acts. I think this is a broader problem than simply bullying, but extends to more general rule-breaking in reckless and destructive ways where a victim to the act exists.
I think this is where we have a lever to pull. I think in the west we tend to infantilize kids. We give them no freedom, respect or responsibility, despite how deeply these things are craved by kids. When we systemically refuse kids any agency, some will submit but some will unconsciously strive to perform acts that are uniquely their own to receive recondition and praise for them.
Many kids find ways to pursue passions that they can be good at and they end up serving as psychic proxies for actual agency and independence, satiating this drive in a positive way - they feel they have legitimate value to offer the tribe and feel rewarded and recognized for it. This might be kids who are naturally good at academic subjects, or maybe even some other weird thing they're into like ballet, guitar, whatever. What's important is they feel like they receive social cache and feel validated as a legitimate member of the pack who gets to be confident that they not under threat of being cast out of it.
Most kids don't have that source of feeling of unique value. Out of those kids there is a subset who are going to force it - seek out their independence themselves. However, when you are completely controlled the only agency you really have is to break rules, that's the only thing you can do that is uncontroversially truly an act of your own doing. Kids performing these acts immediately receive the type of social cache from the kids surrounding them, breaking rules (which can be in the form of bullying) become as Skinner box where when you press the button you get the dopamine, this dopamine attending to the distress you feel from feeling you're old enough to take responsibility but not having any freedom to exercise that freedom.
Holy shit I've been typing on my phone for forever and I was just about to get to my actual thoughts on the question at hand but my partner has made breakfast for me. I'll return to finish up .
Okay so the pancakes were :chefs-kiss:
I don't think you'll ever eliminate bullying, but I think it can be reduced. I think you can attack this problem from a few different directions.
you can reduce the perceived threat of not being considered valuable by the tribe
you can increase the perception of value to the tribe
you can decrease differences in social maturity
you can decrease the social cache associated with victimizing other kids
So, within this framework I think you can imagine a lot of different ways we could change things to reduce bullying. I think ultimately the most powerful (and hardest to achieve) would be a cultural revolution in the west that fundamentally changes our way of treating children in the home and community so kids feel respected, listened to, included in decision making and valued contributors to the community. While this may not feel attainable, I think it does frame the problem as intergenerational and it needs to be thought of on that time frame.
Failing that, addressing income inequality can play a big role. Doing so increases the likelihood that parents have opportunities to spend time with their children, giving meaningful guidance and intervention, paying attention to their development, freeing up opportunity think about how their kids are developing and giving them resources to address deviation. This can reduce differences in social maturity and also decrease the perceived threat of being thrown from the tribe. This can do a lot but does not address the social psycho rich kid bully - that is something different much more akin to sociopathy and is a different conversation. In theory it might actually help by reducing their privilege, but only if you are able to almost eliminate it will you eliminate them.
In addition, expanding social programs so kids can get involved in many different types of activities to give them opportunities to find ways they can feel uniquely valuable by the community in positive outlets.
And lastly this feels lib but I have seen a big difference in kids over the past generation with simple directed education about emotions, empathy and normalizing acceptance of difference. This addresses the fourth point. Over my time I've seen the biggest difference on this metric, as bullying is growing more likely to be seen by other kids as lame or pathetic, an act to be looked down upon.
Anyhow those are some of my thoughts hope that helps.