I've noticed that in recent months it takes me hours to get started on work each day. Like, I might try to start at 7:00 but I'm not really getting much done till like 10:00 or 11:00. It's a problem since I'm paid piecemeal and not hourly, so the sooner I start the sooner I get done (and I want to be done as soon as possible). But I find that I spend so much time screwing around in the morning. Eventually I do get going and I'm pretty focused. But the first few hours are rough. Every day I kick myself for not getting started sooner, and every day I repeat it.
It's not depression. I do (relatively) enjoy the work I do. My current theory is I'm just majorly sleep deprived (I have little kids), so my brain is kinda mush and unfocused when I wake up. Curious if anyone has any ideas or if you have something similar going on.
Have you looked into the phenomenon of initiation deficit? It tends to be associate with brain injuries but in my personal, anecdotal experience it also turns up a lot in just people who have experienced trauma. I know I have it... really bad. Like to the point that I can't get started on something I've been deeply looking forward to. I get paralyzed. It's difficult to explain to people who don't experience it. It's like a narcolepsy of action. Even a narcolepsy of joy. I don't have any good links on hand (sorry) but here is something that at a glance seems to get into it a little and more importantly, offers some coping mechanisms. I haven't vetted it, so to speak.
u/harajukum mentions "exective dysfunction." This is a very related term (I believe broader in meaning) that is also worth researching. It's come up a few times on hexbear. Hopefully it's searchable now.
Anyway, solidarity to you comrade. I struggle with this shit immensely and I wish I had some solid answers for you.