Lmao, now I am imaging a film where it's narrated by a melancholy table like "Johnny Get Your Gun" but it's like "they won't even cover me with a cloth. My wood grain is exposed." "The microwaved soup bowl scalds me, why don't they let it cool on the counter, he is an asshole who deserves it! He is always bragging about having a sink. Why wasn't I built with a sink. I'd drown myself in it."