The pronouns people want you to use are a preference, and that is why this situation is so confusing. The discussion is about people listing their prefered pronouns, which is only a related concept to gender identity. People are thinking of pronouns as a proxy for gender identity, which is only partially correct.

Now if you talk about "misgendering" someone, does that mean you assumed the wrong gender identity, or merely used the wrong pronouns? If someone is male-presenting and tells you their pronouns are he/him, but they identify as a nonbinary gender... if you call them he/him assuming they're a cis guy... have you "misgendered" them? Good question, I don't know the answer!