I've read Marx, Lenin, Luxembourg, Engels, Stalin, Mao, Gramsci, but I still lack any facial hair and I don't have the powers that I should already have by now. I haven't noticed any increase in stamina, not even the slightest bit. What am i missing? Is there something i've done wrong?
See, thats your problem.
Reading Marxists (even just personal letters where 1800s people are flirting) will teach you about nuclear stuff and trains. If you want facial hair you read Hegel. You think Karl Marx got that beard reading himself?