I haven't felt anything besides low burning self contempt for years. Emotions like sadness and happiness elude me. I haven't sincerely shouted for joy or wept in years. I also have no desire to get close to other people and form relationships. This makes it nigh impossible for me to give a shit about even important things. While I don't feel much pain anymore, I also lack the spark that makes life worth living. I feel like a soulless automaton.

Does this sound like it's related to neurodivergence? I'm 100% depressed, but years of therapy and various different medications haven't done much, so I feel like there must be more to it.

  • mathemachristian [he/him]
    ·
    15 days ago

    Right but I still have ADD. It didn't cure my depression, it didn't make me the perfect NT workerdrone and sometimes the side effects are worse than if I hadn't taken it and I need to pause so my nerves can reabsorb the dopamine.

    Having chronic depression sucks and it's not "great" if it's caused by ADD because "there's a pill for that" because actually there is no pill for that. There are pills that help with some aspects in your life where being more like non-ADD person would improve your quality of life. But it's not "great" and there is no magic pill.

    edit: also how the fuck do they link all those causalities together, like with what authority? What reasoning? Oh yeah you likely are ND (Why do you think this?). Which caused burnout. Not "can cause", it "caused" it. This "caused" that, that "caused" some other thing. This person is make sweeping statements about another users mental health based on two paragraphs??

    Oh also they hope OP has ADD because then they can take the pill "for that". Fuck them.

    edit2: Just to be superclear on why I have such an issue with this. It's very patronizing. They immediately figured out what was wrong with OP, wow such an easy problem to solve! It trivializes the struggle even if what they said is correct, which I'm very very doubtful about.

    edit3: Luckily there is a pill for that and its called "Humility"

    edit4 because I can't help myself (wow where's that impulse control I was promised): Taking a pill is the least impactful thing in my life and how I navigate it with ADD. The most impactful thing is stuff like a strict routine for every little fucking thing. It takes ages to find a routine that works, longer still to practice it until it sticks and forcing myself to interrupt what I was doing because the circle with the two dials says so still feels like I'm being cruel to myself even if I can do The ThingTM completely on auto-pilot.