I am traumogenic (trauma created/clinical DID) plural system. It is highly likely that I never had a "core personality" that I was born as and instead have always had either an infant mental state or multiple personalities. (During the time most babies begin to form a coherent personality, I formed several. It is possible that not every system forms like this but highly like I did)
Every time I've felt I was singular, I've experienced mental walls, amnesia and other DID symptoms. If someone could do a "I'm singular ama" that'd be cool because I have questions too. :)
Comrade, I'm not your therapist and I'm not in your mind but this poetic description really sounds like "fighting for front" Even if you aren't a system, I really recommend the podcast "Many Minds on the Issue" on being a system. The podcast has good advice for singular people.
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I didn't know I was a system until later in life. It can take systems over 6 years in therapy to even get a diagnosis. It makes a huge difference.