If I'm being completely honest, I dont really believe we have free will. Or we do, but in an almost entirely meaningless way on a civilizational scale. While you might be able to make small choices, material conditions and the flow of history ultimately decide the course of your life. We're all just products of our environment which none of us can change on our own, and as much as we can change our environment as a collective is decided upon by current conditions which are determined by oast conditions, etc. Basically i think the entirity of history was determined at the big bang, and were all just along for the ride.
If we're talking about personal responsibility, one thing that's helped me work through how I feel about others' actions is de-coupling the actions from the person.
Like, many cishet white men are the way they are because that's the way their environment shaped them. That's not their fault, but it doesn't make their actions any less harmful. You can still condemn those actions without laying existential "blame" for the actions at any one person's feet.
Plus, if their actions are inevitable, then so is your response. Maybe you can't "credit" yourself and others for pushing back against patriarchy/colonialism, but you can still appreciate that said pushback had to happen. We're all just part of the push-and-pull of history, and I've found there's a contentment that comes with embracing that.