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Uncritical support for this post.
If you can't butcher your own meat, you're using the disconnect of letting someone else handle that trauma for you to allow yourself to be complicit in the murder of a being.
Kill it and cut it yourself, or don't fucking eat it.
I have similar issues with bottom dysphoria, or rather did for a while lately it's been better.
I recommend things like grinding and focusing primarily on outer course, keep your panties on, you don't need to be naked to have sex.
If you're curious and want to DM me you're more than welcome, can't guarantee you'll hear back right away but I certainly have lots of advice that isn't necessarily appropriate for an open forum.