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I used to work in veterinary medicine, and there are plenty of vaccine conspiracies in the pet owning community. They cause everything from seizures, to allergies, to autoimmune diseases, and more, according to some of these people. Breeders are a huge contributor to this, which leads to plenty of arguments with vets and pets running around unvaccinated.

It's expensive to get litters of puppies vaccinated, and whackadoodle (I used "doodle" for a reason) theories are a great cover for why you are sending home a puppy with zero medical history outside of hand written worming dates. Unfortunately, it's harder to educate people when it's way cheaper to believe bullshit.

Facing the day can look like whatever you need it to to get to Tuesday. Getting up, taking care of your body by feeding it, drinking water, and practicing good hygiene can be enough. Caring for your mental health with compassion and understanding is also very important.

Doing what you need to do to keep yourself safe and comfortable is the top priority right now. Having a medical condition is not your fault, and it's nothing you should feel any shame about. You're not feeling well, and that means you need to give yourself the space and grace to heal and feel better. However you need to achieve this, as long as you aren't harming yourself or others, is perfectly valid.

Please try to be kind to yourself and focus on healthy coping mechanisms. You have an appointment coming soon, and help is just a few days away. If you need emergency care in the meantime, that's okay, too. You've got this. It takes strength to get this far, and you can do this, too. Please take care.

Hi, friend. I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. It sounds like you're really going through it.

I also deal with major depressive disorder. I've had severe panic attacks since I was a small child. My family situation was well below ideal, so my mental foundation is full of cracks. I can absolutely relate to the anhedonia and intrusive thoughts. I've even made a serious attempt, but I put too much faith in the integrity of my closet bar.

Have you considered inpatient treatment? When I was feeling like my only option was swinging by my neck again, I made the decision to check myself in. I figured I had literally nothing else to lose, so I surrendered. I went in at the height of covid, so the facility wasn't operating as usual. I think the experience now would be better. Either way, though, taking a break from life for a week helped me refocus. I also got access to treatment options I didn't know existed.

After I was discharged I entered into a partial hospitalization program. I had to go back from 8-3 every weekday to continue treatment. They monitored how my meds were working, and I spent a lot of time with people struggling with all kinds of issues. I found that to be really helpful. It put my own struggles in perspective, and I got the chance to talk with and help others in similar situations. All these years later, and I still keep in touch with some people I met in Don't Kill Yourself School.

Once they were satisfied with my progress in partial, I progressed to what they call IOP. It was virtual meetings that took place 3 days a week with a therapist and group of people in treatment. It was a gradual reintroduction to my normal life. During all this time, I quit my toxic job that was ruining my mental health and got on meds that were actually working. I'm not going to lie, the work was hard. Very hard.

I continued seeing a therapist and took a months long course on dialectical behavioral therapy. It has its moments, but I didn't find all the material to be particularly helpful. I have since switched therapists, and I'm doing trauma work with the hope of working my way up to EDMR.

This may not be for everyone, so please feel free to disregard this, but another hugely helpful treatment I discovered is psychedelic therapy. LSD and psilocybin have helped me get out of my well worn neuropathways and look at things differently. I honestly think these substances saved my life.

I hope you don't mind me sharing my story with you, and I hope parts of it are helpful. When I was pondering committing myself, researching and reading other people's experiences helped prepare me for what I would be dealing with. You have so many more options than you can see from the hole you're in, and there is an entire community out there that is waiting to give you a hand up. It sucks hard right now, but that doesn't mean it always will. I know you can do this. You're intelligent, and the fact that you wake up every day and keep going shows your strength. If you can deal with everything you have been going through, you can absolutely handle the work it takes to change your life.

I hope you have a wonderful vacation. If you ever want to talk, please don't hesitate to reach out. I would love to help in any way I can. Please take care. 💜

This week's edition of "It's so hard to shut the fuck up'.

She is so darling!