If this is a “bit” where someone is asking for money to help with a medical issue for their cat but it’s all false? Then fuck you, you’re fucking slime. If you really do need financial help for your cat’s health, I hope you can get it. A full post might get more eyes.
if this is a "bit" where someone is asking for money to help with a medical issue for their cat but it's all false? Then fuck you, you're fucking slime. If you really do need financial help for your cat's health, I hope you can get it. A full post might get more eyes. edit: sorry, responding to the wrong comment
Ok thats a minor relief. If he doesn't get > 50% this time around it's unlikely he'll win the next one? Am I understanding you right? thanks for the info. But like right now he's at 44% and Bolsonaro is at 47% which makes it look like Lula is losing now, let alone another round. I'm on too many drugs to sift this out clearly.
Wait is this right?? Lula is LOSING to Bolsonaro? Or am I misunderstanding? Please tell me that's not real, because it might not be, I don't know how Brazil's elections work.
I had Lula down as an easy win (in my head, based on polls) and it was one of the few good things I was looking forward to. But he's losing? The entire Amazon really is going to be burned down and a US-fellating-fascist is going to continue to rule over the largest country in SA?
Fuck electoralism of course but this election (that I can't :vote: in because I'm not a brazilionaire ) really is super meaningful and consequential for climate realism, right?
You don't know why? I'm guessing it's because the reasons for being fucking pissed runneth over, and hopefully not because none come to mind. We have plenty to choose from.
There's some minimal public transport, yes. But I'm out of the way and have to get transport to where there's public transport.
Thank you comrade. I'm just... "venting." Screaming into the void. Thank you for the response and for engaging with me. I really am floundering to put it lightly. But then who isn't. All the best to you as well.
There's no codependency when one has been on their own for more than a decade. But I hear you, the potential to fall into codependency is still there for someone desperate to not be alone anymore. I feel like I've kept chugging along for the sake of chugging along for too long, running out of steam all the while. Some chunks of time are slightly better than others, it's ultimately just been slow but clear downward trend, and it feels like I'm approaching a point of no return, if I haven't already.
I'm trying to get myself to start doing some kind of community work. Volunteer somewhere, somehow. I have no money, but I'm not homeless due to luck, and I'd do well to use that privilege to help people who don't have the same luck. Every day I tell myself I'm going to write some emails to orgs. Even if I don't have the vehicle (let alone gas $) to get to where they are, maybe I can still help. But I'm starting out from deep within this pit of despair and shame. I can't even keep my own immediate environment livably clean, I can't even make eye contact with the mailperson, or checkout clerk. But maybe if I can help someone, I won't be so ashamed or in such despair. Selfish altruism?
I can see them, yeah, but I can't plot out a path to them. Like a dream you know can never happen for real. I can imagine it, but I can't even begin to find some avenue towards realizing it. Pipe dream. How to get from here to there... it doesn't happen without some divine intervention (which is of course just fictional bullshit).
I don't know. I honestly feel like the only way I'm going to get my head above water is if I can find a way to help my fellow drowning comrades. I don't hold it over myself, I really feel like the only way I can ever hope to tread water is if I can be there for other people that need someone to hold onto. Maybe that's savior complex brainworm shit. Could be. I don't think so though. I'll just never be worth anything to myself, if I can't do something that helps other people.
I need help. I'm on a rapidly declining spiral down into a place that people just don't recover from. But I don't even know how anyone could help anyway. Money? Yeah, sure, no. Not unless some rich, oxymoronic leftist can pay for inpatient psychiatric care for a few months minimum. Would that we all could benefit from a millionaire benefactor. Friendship, then? I'd love to have friends again. How I miss having friends. But I don't know how that even works anymore, I'm too lost, I'm too fucking broken and too solipsistic from years of solitude to know how to have a friend or to be a friend. I'm on a bad trajectory and I see some really bad realities rushing up toward me that I can't dodge or avoid. I need help. I really need help. But I can't even specify what that help would look like. And really, who am I to even ask for help when so many people are so much more deserving of it and in need of it? I should be helping other people. I should be helping myself BY helping other people. But I don't know where to start and I'm afraid I'm so fucked up, so beyond repair, so far gone that I couldn't help anyone else anyway.
I'm cut off from everything. I'm in an isolated little box. I can see the world through a little hole in the box, I can see people interacting with each other. But I can't do it, not from in here. I'm trapped and alone. I get to observe what life might be, what it often is for everyone else, but I will never get to participate.
Even debilitating, one might say.
I have a kind of tinnitus that is low pitched. I am frequently awakened by machinery noises that turn out only to be in my head. That said, constructuction and general urban noise (the real kind, not the imagined shit like I have) have a real and deep impact on a person's quality of sleep and a person's quality of life. Do what you can to mitigate the noise you have to endure. It's not natural and it's not good for us. Yay for capitalist modernity, right?!?
I should be legally allowed to beat anyone operating heavy machinery with a stick on a Sunday.
I am in full support and will sign your petition many times over. That said, I make exception for other member of the proletariat and will instead beat with a stick whatever fucking capitalist dipshit motherfucker thought it was ok to tell their exploited workers that they have to work on a Sunday.
I've had love before. I'm old actually. I've "loved and lost" in my youth. But I've been alone and isolated for a very long time now. And I am in a hole. A very deep hole I know I've helped dig, along with this culture that is all too ready to help dig holes for people like me. I am scrambling every day just to get a couple feet back up out of it, but rarely make any progress. I am trapped by circumstance and by my own neuroses, by a slowly encroaching but very real mental illness.
I just want to be loved. It doesn't need to be romantic. Certainly not sexual, that's a distant pipe dream. It doesn't need to be familial, in fact a substitute for the family I've lost seems almost grotesque but still bitter sweet. It doesn't need to be anything with any expectation at all. It doesn't need to be physical. It doesn't even need to change any material condition. I just want to be loved. Someone LOVE me. Be it love from a friend, a partner, a parental figure, or just a comrade who actually knows me, who sees the deeply flawed person I am but somehow still appreciates it, still finds it worth something within their heart. I have none of these things. I'm alone. I'm not loved. But maybe that's as it should be, because I'm so distant and disconnected. Unloved and too deep within a pit I'm unable to even begin to climb out of, which is only the first step to be able to stand before another human being who might be willing to extend their love and accept mine for them. I'm cut off. I'm in a hole. Solitary confinement. Self imposed to some extent, but perpetuated indefinitely beyond my will. I want to be loved but there's nothing about me as I am, until i pull myself out of this hole, that is worth loving. But how do I extract myself from this hole without anyone, without even a glimmer of love? Chicken and egg. Catch 22. Rock and a hard place. A pickle. A conundrum. A quagmire. A quandary. A dilemma. I want to be loved, but I don't think I deserve to be loved. I'm going to die alone.
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Back when I used :reddit-logo: regularly, I kind of liked the sub r/normalnudes. It was just regular people naked, men, women, nby. It wasn't sexualized, it wasn't "fap material" just people displaying their bodies. I never posted, because I'm full of shame, but I thought about it a number of times. It was body-positive, and self affirming to the people who posted. R*ddit is a fucking hell hole, but that was one of the subs that made me feel more comfortable with naked bodies, including my own. I was never one to be disgusted or even remotely put-off by seeing people I wasn't attracted to nude, and I do think at least some of that attitude is, as you say, the straights being dramatic. But normalizing the diversity of nude bodies I think tends to help alleviate that body-phobic attitude. Which is why I liked that sub.
Drunk. Alone. Old. Nostalgia is just bitter. Gonna wake up tomorrow hungover, isolated, and full of self hatred. Just like every other day.
But I can't participate in all the consumerism, so that's what I deserve.