My hair lately has been so soft and its gotten so long. Today I blow dried it and the way it frames my face is amazing and makes me feel very euphoric. I also have been practicing with my voice a lot lately and getting gendered correctly on the phone has been very euphoric and encouraging. I really feel like I've made good progress with my voice over the last couple months, when this time a year ago I thought I might never successfully voice train.
My earliest memories of gender euphoria had to do with my hair and clothing. I had never heard of trans people and had no idea what I was feeling. I even crossdressed in middle school just because I wanted to, but I had no idea why I felt really happy when I did it or why it made me feel gross when people gendered me as a boy.
You not feeling good enough to be a woman because of your body is because of transmisogyny. Many cisgender women feel their bodies aren't worthy due to perceived physical masculinity.
Trans women are women. We suffer under patriarchy too, indirectly before we transition and directly after we do. We also suffer under cisgendernormativity throughout our whole lives.
We are not the enemies of women. We are women. Cisgender women and transgender women share female solidarity, and we are and always will be allied. Cisgender women and girls (and those perceived that way) are oppressed through patriarchy and misogyny their whole lives. But we suffer from it too. We should have solidarity for each other's lived experiences. Its the transphobic people who are trying to portray us as enemies. They are wrong. Any feminist, any enemy of patriarchy, understands how transphobia negatively affects cisgender men and women too.
I'm so sorry to hear that she's chosen to deny your identity and refuses to accept you for who you are. :/
I'm sorry you're struggling with dysphoria. I won't try and convince you to reconsider. But keep your mind open. And remember that you deserve to be happy. None of us knows for sure what tomorrow brings. I hope you have a great Monday and start to your week ❤
All I can truly say is you deserve love and acceptance. If she's not willing to give you those things then she doesn't deserve to have a wonderful daughter like you. You sound like you've prepared yourself for the worst, but make sure to talk lots to your partner, your therapist if you have one and your friends about it. Bottling this up inside can be agonizing and deal serious long term damage.
I know that having gone no contact before makes you feel a bit emotionally shielded from her. I know it did for me when I cut my mom out. But her being your mom gives her a lot of power to heal or to harm you. So be careful when dealing with her, and always put your own emotional wellbeing first.
Honestly it was never a magical moment for me, but my name is my name and it now fits me so well I wonder if having the name itself didn't influence me in some way.
It just takes time and trying names out :) I tried a couple names initially, but none of them felt right. Inevitably after a few days I would see how it didn't feel right to me and then go back to scouring baby name websites. Then one day I read it on a list of names and I just couldn't stop thinking about how cool and unique and eye catching that name was to me. It made me think of all the things I wanted to be, the person I wanted others to see me as. Everyone in my life who I had been trying names out with immediately perked up when I told them about this new name I wanted to try. Its like intuitively they all knew this was the name, that that name was meant to be mine. At the time I wasn't sure but it stuck very quickly and looking back on it years later I know for sure that I made the right choice. I never even decided firmly that that name would be my name, it just stuck and I never tried to change it again. Before long it was how I named myself in my thoughts even.
My best advice is honestly to keep trying. Tell your friends to use your new name with you, maybe even some online friends or like a discord server or something too. It's a process of trial and error and I don't know that there's any specific method to it. Finding our names is kinda like finding our identities in the first place, it can be messy and confusing and it can take some time. Explore different names with people you trust and assess how you feel about the different names you try. I hope this was all able to help in some way :)
Pre op it worked essentially the same as before HRT although I rarely used it. Post op it works pretty much the same as any other vagina. It's very different from pre op and takes some time to figure out.
Feel free to ask whatever questions you've got here in this community. I'd also recommend looking into some YouTube videos of people discussing sex pre op and post op. There definitely are some.
"You can always tell!" proceeds to say that angelina jolie is trans because her face bones aren't dainty enough
But no the conservatives are right, its the trans that are crazy about gender roles.
I named it mtf after the mtf subreddit. We even stole their icon lol 😅 I can change the name to transfem, or MtF - Transfem or something like that. The !mtf I cant change but the actual title is easily changeable.
If you check the sidebar too I do specify that the community is for all transfeminine people and experiences. But yeah the name could be changed.
Please do your best to contact a trained health professional familiar with your surgery. If you can contact your surgeon that would probably be very beneficial. If you're feeling really unwell then going to the hospital is definitely in your best interest. It's very hard for lay people on the internet to provide helpful advice in a situation like this. I hope you're able to get in contact with professional help as soon as possible.