I wonder what keeps such people left wing

Um... having fucking principles? Like... I don't know, recognizing that communism is necessary for the continuation of humanity rather than barbarism and climate apocalypse?

I don't mean to be flippant, but I guess I do. If you know about the shit that we as leftists know about, you have learned about exploitation and class dynamics. With full awareness of these things, then if you're dipping out toward the right, you know what the fuck you're doing, you're a traitor. And knowing that, and still drifting off on greedy ass winds in a rightward direction because of your material interests... then fuck you, you were never a leftist. You may still sell your labor maybe you even make a killing with it as an aristocrat. But aristocracy in capitalism is being a class traitor. They are among the ghouls that those of us who are committed to human liberation speak of when we talk about having a place on a wall or in a pit.

Yes, I know. I'm just being idealist. Everything comes down to only class interest, and we are all of us victims of material circumstance. No, that's vulgar. If you were ever on the left because you had a human heart, you can't ever turn right and without knowing your position is: "screw y'all, I'm going for MINE."

Take the job. Get as much as you can. But whatever excess you have, and you'll know what is excess if you're honest with yourself, then don't waste it on personal enrichment. "Invest" it in revolutionary potential, organizations, direct aid, whatever. Enjoy your life, but know that if you have any power to effect change with or through your wealth, if you consider yourself leftist, if you consider yourself human you take the opportunity to help others.

Does it work? If I'm annoying enough, will someone engage with me and make me feel, if even for a moment, appreciated? What about loved? Nah, that's asking for too much, sorry, But if being annoying works to get people to give some kind of shit about you... maybe I've been going about this all wrong. I've always struggled to not be annoying, to be silent, to always lurk only (online and off). I think I could pull off being annoying. It could well be my default. You probably, rightly think I already am, annoying I mean. Is that really a path towards being accepted though? Always seemed the opposite when I tried it as a kid, and then promptly gave up.

Fuck yes. I feel vindicated. (edit: thank you for the link). Actually, after skimming this, I feel like I could add a few more paragraphs about the endless fucking bullshit pro-cop agenda this game is shoving down the throats of those who play it. I'm just glad I'm not the only one who noticed.

I bought a strait razor a year or two ago but I have no fucking clue how to use it. Really, I just keep it on hand in case I want to CW myself the old fashioned way. Since I bought it, I have actually grown quite a beard, in part because I have no idea how to use it. Having a beard helps me push away the constant dysphoria that I'm actually enby (no joke, I struggle with that). But being bearded bothers me more so because it impedes my N95 mask when I actually am around other humans irl like going to the grocery store at 11pm on Sundays. I didn't know wet shaving was a hobby. Ok tbh I don't know what wet shaving even is, but I'm assuming it's shaving with enough water that your shave area is wet.

I am playing around with the spiderman ps4 game right now and the copaganda is fucking insane. The whole thing about taking out the escaped prisonershas me wanting to stop playing the game. And that's after the constant cop-fellating background noise. Someone could write an effort post on the disgusting copaganda strewn throughout and integral to the spiderman ps4 game.

Are you still vegan if you ingest a little piece of yourself, your own 'meat' (in this case, tongue)? Non-vegans will ponder this for hours!
FWIW, I say yes. Obviously fucking yes, you're still vegan and furthermore it's a ridiculous question. But it has been a question posed at me before, as if it was "gotcha." :im-vegan: btw

Edit: Sorry that happened to you though, and I hope there isn't much pain. :meow-hug:

I'm wasted and I fucked up the code in the above message. I think I like it better as it is tho. Anyway. You don't need to be in a Baltic state to have illegal drugs delivered by the postal service to your door or mailbox. It's literally how I got addicted to heroin. I mean, don't do it. If you're a leftist, it gives them all the reason they need to fuck with you. But generally speaking, no one gives a shit in small quantities. Or so I have found.

It can be tough at first, but one thing to keep in mind is that you need electrolytes. Mix a little salt and potassium (nusalt or whatever) in with your water. If you don't have your electrolyhtes you will feel like complete shit. You're still going to be hungry, electrolytes or no, but you can "ramp up" to it by eating only 2 meals a day for a few days, then only one meal a day for a days before going for the actual fast. I used to fucking snack constantly, but I'm fine going a day without food at all now with a little practice. (OMAD, or one meal a day is as easy for me now as 3 squares used to be). Fasting isn't good for everyone, so again, make sure you're in the right health bracket to do it. But if you want to lose the tire... it's the quickest and I think easiest way.

"Mom and pop" capitalism is still just a tiny bit more humane than the corporate version, go figure. Nice to know it still exists here and there in black markets I guess.

Customers could order shit online and get it delivered straight to their door like takeout.

I'm not in Sweden, but I grew accustomed to receiving my illegal drugs via postal service. It was usually a couple weeks, so not instantaneous like fucking amazon (burn it down) but if you know how to use the darknet ooohh.. then getting drugs delivered right to your door is not unique to Sweden.

I would watch. 👁️‍🗨️ 👁️

Water fasting did wonders for my tire. It disappeared. It's different for everyone obviously, but my god, doing a few week-long water fasts (and eating 'healthy' in between) solved the problem. I was doing some mild weight training and cardio too, but I kept it pretty light. Of course a couple years later I fell back into bad habits and big surprise, I have a tire wrapped around my midsection again! But. I plan to do some fasting again soon. Maybe. Hopefully. If anyone else decides to do a water fast, do your research, know what you're getting into, and be conscientious and healthy about it.

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Re the spoiler: I'd like to think so, I'd like to think I'm worth something. And in some ways, I am - I fucking experienced life. That's worth something.
But given the current social currency, the standard of society, I'm not. I mean, of course fuck that standard, yeah, but it's still what holds sway, you know? We don't matter if we don't make a checkmark in some fuckhole's ledger.

I appreciate it. There is nothing to figure out, no best way to respond. I'm just venting and screaming into the void somewhere where people might hear. So thanks for listening. I guess a person can always turn around their life if they really really have the drive to do so. I just think a lot of us just don't have that in us. Which is ok, it's human. It sucks, it might be worth mourning, but it is what it is.

As for helping.... it doesn't need to be helpful, it's just nice to connect with another human being sometimes. So thanks.

umm...

:meow-hug:

I'm now over 40. :agony-deep: I have no skills. I've been unemployed and without income since 2019. Always on the brink of being homeless but still lucky to be depending on people in my dwindling, aging family who hate me and think I'm a loser (perhaps rightly so). Privileged piece of shit, I know I am. I'm not sure where to go from here except for content-warning places I won't come back from. What should I do? I have serious mental health problems buy I have no way of addressing them. I just want people, anyone, to like me and think I'm worth something. But I'm not. I need help but there's nowhere I can ask for it. Including here. No one here is equipped to deal with the social consequences of ultra atomization and the resulting mental health. fallout. But who is? No one. I'm crashing, comrades. I want to be part of some movement to make life better for the all of us. But I'm crumbling. I don't want to be hyperbolic, but I think I'm dying. I'm alone. I'm so alone. I want to cry out for help but no one can help, and if they could, they'd be better off helping people in even greater need than the privileged perspective my cries emerge from, like the bleats from a newborn loser.

:meow-bounce: Happy birthday to one of the most based of human beings.

It's hard not to. You listen to those who play the way you wish you could. It's encouragement and aspiration, but also a reminder of what you'll never be. It's fine (and easy) to say that that doesn't matter, just to be what you are and be content with that. But there will always be a drive to be more. That's good. That's what drives innovation and the breaking of boundaries. But for an old loser with failing health and diminishing talent.... it's just a reminder of what will never be. And that's ok too, even while it's painful. I just wish I could pick up the instrument again and enjoy playing it. But I can't. Capitalism ruined me. It forced me to think I had to be as good or better than what I heard, and I simply never will be. Again, I know that's ok. But I'm still trained to feel hurt by it.

I have several guitars. (I'm poor but guitar was my thing for a bit). All are cheap, since I never had money, ever. But I was learning some Joe Satriani songs. I felt like I could maybe be worth something. But then I just stopped playing. It was all trying to be something that so many others were infinitely better at. When I could still feel it, that was ok. Who gives a shit if there will always be someone better, that's just fucking life, obviously. But instead I started not to even feel it. Why play guitar when it's just rote, just a lame, incomplete attempt to be "good"? I stopped playing, and I never picked it up again (2 years later), to my deepest regret.

I just can't fucking feel anything anymore. And Playing music was all about feeling something. I think I'm on my way out.

I play guitar!! Or I did. I was getting really into it a year or so ago. I mean, I played on and off for years, (decade or more?) I was learning to "shred" and actually get decent. Like background and theory and guided practice. But I just fell away from it and it became poison. Another thing I wanted to do but would never be worth anything.

I try to walk a few miles every day, but it doesn't always happen. And fucking hell, I'm lucky to even be able to get to walk at all a lot of times. I know plenty of people who rightly see daily walks as a luxury. this fucking world.

Edit: But you are 100% right. Exercise does help. Mindfulness helps. "Touching grass" helps. I don't mean to undermine that.