To be clear, what I asked for, was that the direct contents of a DM not be shared without the other parties permission. You can absolutely summarise the contents of the discussion.

I’m going to use my last post here before the vote to say, it was massively irresponsible to federate with these trolls before consulting with the community you administrate

That's how federation works. We are on a blacklist system, which means we federate with anyone and everyone unless they are added to a blacklist, and you don't add good faith communities on to the black list without exceptional circumstances.

Whether this is exceptional enough to add them varies depending on who you ask within our community, and that is why there is a vote

I’d buy into the “Trans solidarity” lie

That's my wording, not theirs

As an admin you have a duty to those you administrate and you’ve essentially told them that the abuse they’ve suffered is inconsequential in the face of Trans solidarity The same Trans solidarity Hexbear uses to abuse your users, willfully and maliciously

I have users telling me that they want to stay federated, I have users telling me I shouldn't federate. There is no path I can take that keeps all of the community happy. Which is why I am administrating, talking directly to their admin, pushing for changes in their rules and behaviour, and putting the final decision up for a vote.

I'm pushing for change, and then making sure that the choice is still there.

That's what's involved in administration.

I think both of those ideas are good ones. I'll make it a project for this weekend.

It's not. I have no time for hexbear political views. I don't like their politics just because they're trans. What I do like, is their strong pro-active protection of their trans userbase. And to me, that is more important than political differences.

Of course, not everyone shares that opinion, but that's why it's a vote, and not me going with my own opinion.

That person has been banned, and their posts removed.

But honestly, stuff like this is why it's being put up to a vote. If our users feel that the balance is wrong, and hexbear users like that are doing more harm than we're gaining from trans solidarity, then the vote will show that, and we will defederate.

I completely agree. I also feel like blahaj has its own transphobic takes and maybe y’all need more mods / modtools to deal with bad takes like this, which maybe CARCOSA can help you with.

I think you need to make some allowances for volunteer availability. I got to that post in under an hour. The hexbear post targeting me was up for over a day, and was only removed when I sent a DM to an admin, because that's just how it works sometimes. Volunteers aren't available all the time, and the moderation tools on lemmy are far from perfect.

You aren't paragons of perfection anymore than we are. We both have big communities with diverse opinions, and admins that are trying to keep community standards on track.

If you mean it when you say trans unity, then you need to allow for us to work towards it, rather than expecting perfection, especially immediately

That's one way of doing it.

I don’t know how feasible that would be though.

That's feasible.

They have the potential to be our good friends as we all face the same oppression and share in the same struggles. How about we take a step towards queer unity and left unity in the Lemmy fediverse and not be so trigger-happy with the defederation.

Yes, this! This is exactly what I hope we get out of it.

Yes. The answer is SQL and database queries :)

That “smooth brained” shit also should fall under ableism honestly

It does. I've removed the post and banned the user

We have very much not taken hold in society. We are under attack in ways that are often quite literally killing us, and unlike the fediverse at large, the threadiverse is full of trans hostile folk on generalist instances, many with admins that won't deal with anything but the most egregious transphobia.

I genuinely believe that empowering trans communities and trans folk in the threadiverse is super important in changing that.

Splitting us apart makes that harder, and keeps the threadiverse more hostile overall. Of course, sticking together doesn't help if the hostility is coming from within the house, but my hope is that we can get that part sorted out. Maybe we can't, and if that's the case, we will do what we have to do, but I would like to make the attempt, because I think that in the long term, learning to work with other trans protective instances will empower us all

Yep, local only posts/communities would be really helpful!

As people have said, I'm trying to maintain some cohesion in trans protective instances. If we defederate then the majority of trans protective instances will be isolated from each other, and I don't want that to happen. I am absolutely giving hexbear more slack for that reason.

I don't mind that they have a community to highlight what they consider to be "bad takes". Hell, we have communities like that here, like "Are The Straights OK?" and "Bad Women's Anatomy" etc.

The issue is when it crosses the line and becomes a source of harassment. I am hoping that the latter has been resolved, but we will see

Yep, they did. Which is why I'm pushing to remain federated. They took action and addressed the issue. But there very much was an issue before they did

A post here calling to block them ended up on their All feed, and it still didn’t get that bad.

It really did. I was the target of a lot of it, and I had to moderate the rest of it.

It also didn't end up in their "all" feed as such. It was posted in their "dunk on a lib" community, and that made it to their all page. And then a great many of them jumped on over here and trolled.

Their admins stepped in and clarified things to ensure it won't happen again, but before things calmed down, it was pretty bad.

I have hope that we can make things work going forward, but the stuff that happened before was absolutely not sustainable.

Yeah, we have a way of making sure the results are representative

Yep, that's the way I'm leaning

Yeah, that's how I knew about trans folk. That stigma and hate is a large part of why it took me so long to accept something I always knew to be true