Well here's my worst: I relapsed after having dropped my tolerance and the EMTs scraped me out of a ditch and took me to my job, although thank God I don't work in the ED. Apparently I said something to the effect of "just let me die" which wound up getting me a babysitter (suicidaldrunksitter?) and wound up having to talk to a pgy-2 who very clearly (and nervously) recognized me. Fortunately my hospital is relatively with it on the evidence-based-practice even in behavioral health so he knew to wait until I was sober again to do a full assessment, because that would've been a whole week down the drain in grippy sock jail.

How is his chin that small even WITH a beard? Is that the real reason incels idolize him? I know they've got lots of weird chin issues is he like their Helen Keller? Chinless success story?

No it's like. A chemical thing. I've been drinking a six pack or more every night off (and I only work three days a week) for like six months. I've spent literally over half my life shitfaced for the past six months. That causes fundamental neurochemical changes.

Now my brain just doesn't hit the dopamine button as hard or as often for things that used to be a lot of fun. So everything just feels really cold and empty and I know my brain will heal eventually but in the meantime that's the hardest part.

I've tried quitting over and over in that time, and this is always the part that gets me. Withdrawal has gotten pretty straightforward, since I do it to prepare for work every week. It's just shaking and cold sweats and hallucinations for 12 hours, which you can get surprisingly good at.

After that I can manage a few days at a time but eventually I'm just so depressed and I know it'll make it better for a day so I wind up doing it anyway. It's not something you can rationalize or just "get over." You just have to slog through it until your brain rewires itself again.

For me it's the crushing anhedonia. Nothing is fun.

I've got 24h wish me luck!

90 degrees outside the car? The inside of that car is gonna BAKE. And 2 hours before and after high noon ain't shit. cook those hoes.

I don't wash my hands at work to be sterile (most of the time). "Sterile" is different from "clean" in the terms I'm formally educated in. To follow that analogy I just want my info to be "clean." I want to remove most of the stuff from immediate public access periodically. I utilize other stuff too like periodically changing usernames and whatnot, same as I change an isolation gown or strip and wash my clothes as soon as I get home. None of that guarantees perfect removal of 100% of microbes, and this won't prevent all people ever from accessing my info. But that's no reason to never even rinse my digital ass. I just want a digital-ass bidet, not a digital autoclave.

I don't wash my hands at work to be sterile (most of the time). "Sterile" is different from "clean" in the terms I'm formally educated in. To follow that analogy I just want my info to be "clean." I want to remove most of the stuff from immediate public access periodically. I utilize other stuff too like periodically changing usernames and whatnot, same as I change an isolation gown or strip and wash my clothes as soon as I get home. None of that guarantees perfect removal of 100% of microbes, and this won't prevent all people ever from accessing my info. But that's no reason to never even rinse my digital ass. I just want a digital-ass bidet, not a digital autoclave.

I feel like I got mental help too late in my life and now I can't recover.

I am 25 now

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Jesus dude the way you started that off I was expecting you to say you were at least 55. I graduated college with an associates at 26 after being hospitalized four times for either trying to kill myself or throwing down with my boyfriend over dumb shit (or both). I'm still in school now.

You know the average human lifespan is like 75 right? You're only a third of the way in!

And if there was a time limit on sexual relationships, it wouldn't be so damn hard to control the spread of STDs in nursing homes.