nickwitha_k (he/him)

  • 7 Posts
  • 225 Comments
Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: July 16th, 2023

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  • Serious response: It may not just be capitalism. Be very careful placing requirements for your happiness on external things as it will inevitably cause great unhappiness. Happiness needs to come from inside you to be sustainable (sometimes our brains need help because of genetic or environmental factors but, ultimately, getting a good balance of neurotransmitters is happening in your brain).

    If you are miserable and hopeless all the time, regardless of things that should be joyous and beautiful, and experience things such as disinterest in activities that you enjoy and feel emotionally numb and/or all over the place, you may be experiencing a depressive disorder. If you have access, the assistance of a mental health professional may be able to help you through it so that you can keep fighting for a more equitable future.

    Mental health is a serious matter and some disorders, like massive depressive disorder can be fatal. I know this from experience, having lost a parent to it and nearly losing both a spouse and sibling to it as well.

    I don't care if I always agree with you or others on this instance on the "right" way to achieve a better world for everyone. You're a fellow traveler in life and deserve love and joy. Between this post and one of your recent ones, I'm honestly a bit worried about you. Please reach out if you need to talk or need help finding resources available to you. You're not alone. You've got friends, comrades, and internet strangers that give a shit.





  • Absolutely. It's NEVER too late, while you're drawing breath. We humans are social creatures throughout our lives. The 30s is when you move from "young adulthood" to just plain "adulthood". You've still got plenty of years in your natural lifespan. My advice would be the following:

    • Forget everything that rom-coms and mainstream "romantic" portrayals push. They are not realistic representationsv of healthy, sustainable relationships.
    • Forget about preconceived notions of "the type of woman you're looking for". That's not to say that you'd be wrong to have preferences. Just be sure that your preferences are conscious of the fact that a potential partner is their own person and not some imaginary woman-shaped cardboard cutout with no agency or existence beyond your presence.
    • Forget about both "The One that got away" and "The One". Both are toxic, unhealthy concepts. The former errodes the stability of any relationship that you may pursue. The later erodes your self-esteem and makes you more likely to "settle". The reality is that there are multiple "The Ones" for any given person, at any given time. And as people (and you) grow, they may or may not remain a "The One" and that's ok.
    • Lots of people get together and marry or stay in a long relationship far too young. Noone knows themselves and what they want entirely in their teens and twenties. Being in relationships helps at building relationship skills but, actual compatibility of personalities, drives, and dreams is frequently not great with couples that get married that young.
    • IMPORTANT Ensure that you are good with yourself. If you get into a relationship, it's unfair to do so hoping that the other person will "fix" you. Do your best to be the best you that you can be. Human pairing criteria/rituals run a wide gamut. Embodying the best of who you want to be will make you someone's "fetish".
    • ALSO EXTREMELY IMPORTANT Don't be creepy with your preferred gender. They're just other human beings - treat them as such (yes, they may have significantly different life experiences due to presenting gender). The big point here is that you don't want to come off as predatory, which you will, if you are always looking at people that you meet as potential mates rather than the full human beings with their own wants, desires, and agency.
    • Participate in social activities that include a mix of people, including those of your preferred gender. DO NOT do this just to find a date. That will make you come across as phoney. Participate in activities that you have genuine interest in or are curious about. The main goal here, overall, is to enjoy yourself with other people. In the relationship side of things, this helps to build your social skills and social circles. Being open to romantic entanglement is good but ensure that you're not ruining someone else's hobby fun.
    • Finding a partner is largely a numbers game. You need to meet enough people to find individuals that share high compatibility with you. Be open to relationships not working out. You will have some catch-up in your relationships skills which may cause some rockiness. As long as you keep moving forward and improving yourself, you're going to be ok.
    • Being in your 30s means that you're more likely to have your shit together, or at least be more comfortable with yourself and know what you want in life. Lots of people find that alone to be attractive.

    I wish you lots of love and joy. My apologies for the lengthy response but I like to try to share what I've learned from my own experiences in the hope that it helps others get past some of the things that caused me to be lonely for longer than I needed to be.








  • nickwitha_k (he/him)@lemmy.sdf.orgtoMemes@lemmy.mlSelf-Made
    ·
    2 months ago

    Hey now. That "emerald mine in apartheid South Africa" but is not true at all. He benefited from being the son of a rich white guy in apartheid South Africa. The emerald mine was in Zambia. He materially benefited from colonial rule in TWO countries.


  • I have an acquaintance that went to seminary that proposed an additional alternative take (I am not a theologian, not am I a follower of abrahamic religions nor any organized religion so, I'll probably butcher this and/or omit relevant details - also, it's probably more than a mire blasphemous).

    Based upon descriptions of both Satan/Lucifer and Jesus of Nazerath, titles they are given, and symbolism in describing their relation to three Abrahamic god, they could be the same character. This take completely alters the plot arc of the Christian bible. Turning it into something like this:

    Old Testament (Origin story)

    • Lucifer, long favored, becomes jealous and resentful of humans taking away his attention, like an older sibling when a new baby arrives.
    • Lucifer acts out and crosses a line, resulting in not just reprimand but, the worst punishment available. With Hell not existing in Judaism, the closest equivalent is effectively being cast out, shunned, and separated from his god.
    • Lucifer is pissed. He throws a tantrum, taking it out on the humans that he sees as to blame for his misfortune. He spends the rest of the Old Testament tormenting humanity or getting ignored to go into lineages and depressing poetry.

    Old Testament Epilogue (Omitted from Official Texts)

    • Lucifer works through some of his daddy issues. He accepts that he's been a bit of a shit and mourns for his father that he misses dearly.

    New Testament Prologue (Also Omitted from Official Texts)

    • Lucifer, who had given up all hope, meets up with his old friend Gabriel. Gabriel feels sorrow for his old friend's torment. Together, they come up with a desperate plan to get their father's attention.

    New Testament (The Redemption Arc)

    • It's go time. Possibly in an attempt to clandestinely gain access to Heaven and even a moment of his father's attention, Lucifer gives up the greatest thing that he has, his immortality, becoming human, with help from Gabriel.
    • Lucifer is found out. He gets some of the attention that he craved but it is made clear that it finite and that this human life is the last that he will ever have.
    • As a human, Lucifer, now Jesus of Nazerath sees first hand what he had wrought upon humanity but not just that, but also the beauty of humanity and why his father loves them so.
    • Lucifer-Jesus proceeds to dedicate his life to the service of humanity. Helping those that he can in his journeys. Despite all of this, he remains forsaken.
    • Lucifer-Jesus is overcome with guilt and grief, not just for what he has done but that he can never fully make up for all of the pain and suffering that he has caused. Not in his eyes nor those of his father.
    • Lucifer-Jesus decides to invoke the old ways of sacrifice, but in place of a lamb, he offers up himself. Not asking for forgiveness for himself but in hopes that his father will listen and relieve the suffering that he, Lucifer-Jesus, had inflicted upon humanity.
    • With this final, selfless sacrifice, Lucifer-Jesus' father accepts that he has been punished enough and paid off his debt to humanity. Lucifer is finally welcomed him home.
    • Some, likely politically-motivated, stuff gets tacked on to the end, using the end of the world as a metaphor for the fall of an empire.





  • I am indeed seeing this with increasing frequency. Just take a look at threads about the Lemmy devs for examples. An increasing number of people seem to feel entitled to be treated not just like customers but as also as stakeholders/PMs for software that was gifted to the community.

    As for how to try to change this direction, I think ELI5 on what FLOSS is and how it is governed, as well as how to be a good member of the community, whether as a contributor or otherwise, is probably the way to go.