If you give yourself constipation it'll take even longer to shit when you finally do work again. It's a win-win.

Hold it. Don’t let them win.

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This is why your union gave you a big cork!

Margaret Thatcher's grave

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:ooooooooooooooh:

💩⭐ Volshit Police on the scene ⭐💩

😖

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let it ferment

Wait for it, good things take time

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A police car is never far away. Dump the shit under their wheels.

Go in to work; tell them you forgot your jacket. Hit the head.

Or, if you want to step up your game...

Sneak in before or after work hours and drop a deuce in front of the boss' office. Leave a note with demands and sign it "The Phantom Shitter."