What can a mfer do for exercise?
Swimming is no go because the nearest pool is even further. Running is off the table because of a bad injury I had a long time ago (knees and hip are fucked) and cycling is a thing but my bike is all fucked up and the bike shops around here charge a fortune and I tried repairing it myself based on diy youtube videos but ended up damaging it more.
Walking feels like it's not good enough and I don't really have enough room at home for doing most bodyweight exercises or for home equipment (also too expensive). With winter coming up doing exercises outside won't be impossible but I live in canadia so it'll be a fucking pain in the ass.
Any suggestions fit comrades?
If you have enough room to lie on your back on the floor and roll over, you have enough room for bodyweight exercise. A couple dumbbells and sliders can round that out to a full workout.
For a start, try squats, v-ups, pushups, lunges, bicycle crunches, and a pulling exercise (dumbell rows, bicep curls, pullups... pulling exercises are the one that's hardest to do with pure bodyweight). Do some number of each, repeat the whole collection 3 times. If the third time is impossible, reduce the count or difficulty next workout, and if the third time is easy, increase them. You may also prefer "as many as I can for 45 seconds" instead of a raw number.
If some of those exercises are too easy, too hard, or just getting boring, I can suggest alternatives. Except for squats, which you're stuck with.