Yeah, ace people are kinda used to being everyone's least-favorite coalition-mate. The problem here is that the misunderstanding you and Goldberg seem to have is that you think demisexuality is just a preference for liking your sex partner. It's not. Most demisexuals I know are far closer to ace than they are to your understanding. They are capable of wanting and enjoying sex in a relationship as an emotional thing, but not in what people who aren't ace think of as the physical sense.
And part of this is made more difficult because you're taking the entire category of asexual people and now using a subsection to determine what is or is not a sexual minority. Now, ace people are used to that, because we're used to being made into something we aren't because non-ace people can't accept that we just don't experience sex or sexuality the way they do or that we are alienated by being expected to think about sex and sexuality the way they do. But like all micro-aggressions, the issue is mostly just the constant reminder that our world and our perspective doesn't matter. Eventually, that gets to the point where your response goes from "please stop" to "shut the fuck up, reactionary, I swear to god", because it just isn't worth it to listen to another non-ace person decide they know us better than us.
But fine, I don't give a fuck. I don't care about being in the LGBTQ+ representation tent. That tent is worth jack-all to many of the people in it because of horseshit like this.
So are arguably asexual men in most countries. Trying to pit parts of the whole LGBTQAI+ thing into oppression Olympic to decide who gets to stay doesn't seem like a winning strategy. What the harm with demisexuals identifying with the "Stonewall crowd". Is there really a chance of them highjacking the movement?
I'm not sure we need to focus on government as the sole source of oppression, but I'm guessing an asexual woman living in particularly patriarchal place is likely to have a really bad time. Hell, here in Russia my heterosexual female friends have struggled with the pressure from everyone around them to get married as soon as possible.
A label shouldn't determine whether your sexual preference is valid or not. I also didn't say anything about validity. Just saying this reactionary authors usage of demisexual is contradictory and low key exploitative.
I stand against the constant dismissal of asexual people as real people with a real difference in how they engage with sexuality by non-ace people. Asexuality, even demisexual/grey-asexuality is based in a very different experience/engagement with sex and sexuality. Quite-frankly, there are few things as alien (and often alienating) as listening to a non-ace person explain how they experience horniness or attraction, for example. In particular, I stand against judgmental non-ace people deciding for us who and what we are in order to fit their preferences.
this is some absolute chud shit and you should try to educate yourself on asexuality, since you don't seem to understand it at all but feel very strongly about denying people on that spectrum a place in the LGBTQIA community.
people aren't just telling you to fuck off for fun
See, you literally just said "No one is doing the thing I'm going to now do" and then did it. The patronizing dismissiveness you're engaged in is exactly what pisses ace people off.
Ah, yes, the "cool kids club" which treats half the letters in its membership as inconveniences. Between bisexual erasure, trans-medical trans-people, and the way intersex and asexual people are treated, it qualifies as a "with friends like these who need enemies" situation. There is no "cool kids club" and no one is trying to get into it. We're supposed to be here to protect each other, but the reality is still just high-school lunchroom bullshit.
What feels like mockery is being constantly told which box you fit in by people who have no idea what your lived experience is.
Bluntly, it's about everything you say around dismissing demisexual people as part of the LGBTQIA community that I'm annoyed about. The actual "you aren't part of the club" shit couldn't matter less to me. It's the failure to recognize that there is a fairly uncommon experience of asexuality that is more than just "a preference" even if it isn't part of "club" and that shapes peoples' lives in a way that they are better able to speak to you that makes me so mad at you. Particularly because you think it's all about being "part of the club" when, like I've said: fuck the club. The club shits on bisexual people, intersex people, and nonbinary people all the time. I don't give a fuck if we get to sit at the cool kids' table. I've never wanted to be there before and I sure as fuck don't now. I just don't want to listen to a bunch of people who know nothing about my life experience dictate what it does or doesn't mean to me.
I don't care whether it interests you that I take offense at having my life experience trivialized by an outsider. I don't care about your club. I don't care about the stupid game you're playing with membership or not. If you can't let ace people speak for themselves, then just don't talk about us. It's really easy.
As another queer enby trans person, demisexuals absolutely do not "dilute" the "queer identity". Are you really accusing a comrade here of creating an identity for clout stealing aesthetics?
Demi people diluting queerness is quite a take from you, I gotta say. Queer folk all want sexual and gender liberation, right? That's like the whole point so I dunno what you're on about
But I don't think the point is to make some pie bigger or smaller or share a pie. The point is to make sure people are no longer persecuted, disowned, killed etc due to shitty societal views about sexuality and gender which take a specific form. Of course someone can talk about all the other stuff but I don't think it is the right framework.
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Thanks for deciding what is or isn't a valid orientation for the rest of us.
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Get purged, chud :hexbear-demisexual: :flag-demi-pride:
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Holy shit they got owned
Can't tell if sarcastic or in support.
I support aroace individuals (I am one :hexbear-aromantic: ) and people who are assholes to them should get bodied
Yeah, sorry, you already disqualified yourself from being listened to when you decided to be a giant dick.
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Better than talking to a reactionary.
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And I'd rather not deal with self-important sexuality-police like you at all, but we all have to tolerate some difficulties in life, I guess.
I don't mean to keep this going but the author - who again is a reactionary - is literally playing sexuality-police.
Yes, and so is this jackass. They may not agree with each other, but the two of them are a match made in hell, nonetheless.
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Yeah, ace people are kinda used to being everyone's least-favorite coalition-mate. The problem here is that the misunderstanding you and Goldberg seem to have is that you think demisexuality is just a preference for liking your sex partner. It's not. Most demisexuals I know are far closer to ace than they are to your understanding. They are capable of wanting and enjoying sex in a relationship as an emotional thing, but not in what people who aren't ace think of as the physical sense.
And part of this is made more difficult because you're taking the entire category of asexual people and now using a subsection to determine what is or is not a sexual minority. Now, ace people are used to that, because we're used to being made into something we aren't because non-ace people can't accept that we just don't experience sex or sexuality the way they do or that we are alienated by being expected to think about sex and sexuality the way they do. But like all micro-aggressions, the issue is mostly just the constant reminder that our world and our perspective doesn't matter. Eventually, that gets to the point where your response goes from "please stop" to "shut the fuck up, reactionary, I swear to god", because it just isn't worth it to listen to another non-ace person decide they know us better than us.
But fine, I don't give a fuck. I don't care about being in the LGBTQ+ representation tent. That tent is worth jack-all to many of the people in it because of horseshit like this.
You are in the tent and this bigot should get the wall. Full support.
So are arguably asexual men in most countries. Trying to pit parts of the whole LGBTQAI+ thing into oppression Olympic to decide who gets to stay doesn't seem like a winning strategy. What the harm with demisexuals identifying with the "Stonewall crowd". Is there really a chance of them highjacking the movement?
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I'm not sure we need to focus on government as the sole source of oppression, but I'm guessing an asexual woman living in particularly patriarchal place is likely to have a really bad time. Hell, here in Russia my heterosexual female friends have struggled with the pressure from everyone around them to get married as soon as possible.
Then you started "trying to learn'" by shitting on the people you're trying to learn about.
Frankly, it doesn't matter if you understand it. Just start with support and listen to people. You can fill in your understanding later.
You should already get this. Go self-crit after you get banned for being a bigot.
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You. Don't. Get. To. Police. Queerness.
Pig.
Imagine being so miserable you need to shit on queer people.
You are a worm. Your alienation comes from your bigotry and it is your own fault.
A label shouldn't determine whether your sexual preference is valid or not. I also didn't say anything about validity. Just saying this reactionary authors usage of demisexual is contradictory and low key exploitative.
Not calling you out. Calling out the reactionary I replied to.
The thing is you're agreeing with the author - who is a reactionary..
No I'm not. You should reread what I wrote.
:pit:
Jissus did some fucker actually say that? Fucking hell, get the :ban-hammer: for whoever said that
concern trolling neckbeard I responded to.
I can't believe we're still having this many problems with LGBTQIA acceptance this far in.
Also if I see that person's comment I'll be banned for the shit I want to say...
It's got to be some dingleberries who stuck around after TERFmas. Hexbear is very accepting of LGBTQIA , unlike these nobodies.
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I stand against the constant dismissal of asexual people as real people with a real difference in how they engage with sexuality by non-ace people. Asexuality, even demisexual/grey-asexuality is based in a very different experience/engagement with sex and sexuality. Quite-frankly, there are few things as alien (and often alienating) as listening to a non-ace person explain how they experience horniness or attraction, for example. In particular, I stand against judgmental non-ace people deciding for us who and what we are in order to fit their preferences.
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Oh for god's sake. Go fuck yourself.
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If they are doing this, then they are a chud.
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this is some absolute chud shit and you should try to educate yourself on asexuality, since you don't seem to understand it at all but feel very strongly about denying people on that spectrum a place in the LGBTQIA community.
people aren't just telling you to fuck off for fun
wat
Fuck off loser :pigpoop: :PIGPOOPBALLS:
See, you literally just said "No one is doing the thing I'm going to now do" and then did it. The patronizing dismissiveness you're engaged in is exactly what pisses ace people off.
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Ah, yes, the "cool kids club" which treats half the letters in its membership as inconveniences. Between bisexual erasure, trans-medical trans-people, and the way intersex and asexual people are treated, it qualifies as a "with friends like these who need enemies" situation. There is no "cool kids club" and no one is trying to get into it. We're supposed to be here to protect each other, but the reality is still just high-school lunchroom bullshit.
What feels like mockery is being constantly told which box you fit in by people who have no idea what your lived experience is.
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Bluntly, it's about everything you say around dismissing demisexual people as part of the LGBTQIA community that I'm annoyed about. The actual "you aren't part of the club" shit couldn't matter less to me. It's the failure to recognize that there is a fairly uncommon experience of asexuality that is more than just "a preference" even if it isn't part of "club" and that shapes peoples' lives in a way that they are better able to speak to you that makes me so mad at you. Particularly because you think it's all about being "part of the club" when, like I've said: fuck the club. The club shits on bisexual people, intersex people, and nonbinary people all the time. I don't give a fuck if we get to sit at the cool kids' table. I've never wanted to be there before and I sure as fuck don't now. I just don't want to listen to a bunch of people who know nothing about my life experience dictate what it does or doesn't mean to me.
I don't care whether it interests you that I take offense at having my life experience trivialized by an outsider. I don't care about your club. I don't care about the stupid game you're playing with membership or not. If you can't let ace people speak for themselves, then just don't talk about us. It's really easy.
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The 'A' in LGBTQIA stands for both full asexuals and grey-ace/demi people. Generally, we're considered to be a set.
Love to tone police queer people.
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As another queer enby trans person, demisexuals absolutely do not "dilute" the "queer identity". Are you really accusing a comrade here of creating an identity for clout stealing aesthetics?
As a queer trans person, the inclusion of demisexuals in LGBTQ+ does not at all dilute anything. Stop pearl clutching over nothing
If you're not a part of this community you don't get a vote in this topic at all.
Demi people diluting queerness is quite a take from you, I gotta say. Queer folk all want sexual and gender liberation, right? That's like the whole point so I dunno what you're on about
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But I don't think the point is to make some pie bigger or smaller or share a pie. The point is to make sure people are no longer persecuted, disowned, killed etc due to shitty societal views about sexuality and gender which take a specific form. Of course someone can talk about all the other stuff but I don't think it is the right framework.
What the fuck