Holiday season slowed down progress again, but the series is finally back, in time for the New Year!
The Will to Change: Men, Masculinity, and Love is a book by bell hooks about men, patriarchy, the relationship between them, and most importantly love. There is no need to pick up a copy, comrade Sen has already uploaded the entire audiobook onto Youtube. Content warnings are generously provided by Sen at the start of each chapter, however, they may not be as extensive as one might provide on here. This time we are doing Chapter 5, on male sexuality, which I am rather excited for.
Discuss-
-What stood out to you about this chapter?
-Are there any ideas that bell hooks introduces in this chapter that you've never heard of or wish you had heard earlier in your life?
-Are there any stories in this chapter that resonate with you on a personal level?
Previous Chapter Discussions
Chapter 1 discussion
Chapters 2 and 3 discussion
Chapter 4 discussion
Chapter Four (the song)
Patriarchy says, "Be a part of our gang and you'll be better than those outside of the gang."
Than Patriarchy says, "Hey, you're new to the gang so we're gonna shit on you no matter what you do."
It makes sense to me that there would be frustration at "following the rules of being in the Patriarchy" and "still not winning the respect you were promised by being a member of Patriarchy."
Not winning respect is part of the story, but the book is focusing more on the love, fulfillment and emotional satisfaction that is surrendered in order to fit into this patriarchal society. I can imagine there are a lot of "respected" people who are emotionally bankrupted by this system. Luckily, ignoring this system doesn't mean that you can't keep or grow how much you are respected; the people who respect you will be the thing that changes.
Yeah, but trying to walk away from Patriarchy means you're making yourself a pariah to a huge chunk of the system. Which does make it a harder sell.