Edit: Okay, wow. if the statement from a woman of “we owe you nothing” immediately sets you off emotionally, I would really encourage you to think through why that might be.

A more systemic phrasing could have been “we owe the patriarchy nothing”. I changed it to that for a second before realizing, again, that it was fine. A guy that has worked through internalized patriarchy around this will understand it’s not about them.

Patriarchy on the whole conditions men towards having a sense of entitlement towards women’s bodies, time, attention, labor, etc. It also conditions women that they should feel obligated to provide this without setting boundaries or expecting reciprocal solidarity.

Remember, we literally all have degrees of internalized bigotry, misogyny, racism, transphobia, etc because these are systemic issues. Our responsibility to ourselves and our comrades is to work through that. You are not a bad person for finding those brainworms in yourself, only if you refuse to do the work to address them.

  • zeal0telite [he/him,they/them]
    ·
    3 years ago

    Not sure I can formulate why but this feels like it sucks ngl

    This feels like that tweet the other day with the woman talking about her son confiding in her and she was like "I don't want to reinforce the femme dynamic by being therapy for him".

    We mock men for being emotionally closed off, and mock them when they open up to people. Not sure what the end goal is.

    • vccx [they/them]
      ·
      edit-2
      3 years ago

      Just buy a therapist :maybe-later-kiddo:

      Men should be able to talk to each other and support each other equally to women, this post feels like lib punching down tho

      • zeal0telite [he/him,they/them]
        ·
        3 years ago

        Yeah it feels like it's missing the actual issue.

        Especially the "insecure" part. Like damn, way to diminish men's feelings down to insecurity.

    • TankGirl [she/her]
      hexagon
      ·
      3 years ago

      We mock men for being emotionally closed off, and mock them when they open up to people

      I don’t at all. This post is about misogyny and the belief many men have of being entitled to women working around or helping them unpack their fragility or sexism.

      It’s the same thought process as expecting every trans person to help cis people not be transphobic. People can choose to opt into that work of helping people not bigoted towards them, but there should not be an expectation that they will.

      • Huldra [they/them, it/its]
        ·
        3 years ago

        As people have pointed out though, using "unstable and insecure" in there drowns whatever point you wanted to make in connotations of mocking mental health, and going around writing long explanations about the real point doesnt erase how the actual post comes off and is read by many people on the site who have experience with mental health issues.

      • zeal0telite [he/him,they/them]
        ·
        edit-2
        3 years ago

        I have been called insecure and mocked when I have talked about certain anxieties I have.

        You could have said anything like what you just said above but the original post comes across as very demeaning.

      • Ihatepeople123 [none/use name]
        ·
        edit-2
        3 years ago

        Men will get their revenge in by ending the earth so enjoy the ride. I am enjoying it

        I am looking forward to this at least