Honestly I don't meet the Yanks all that much regularly. I have a couple friends who I see semi frequently, and they're obviously ok. The Americans here at Hexbear are super cool. Since Covid lockdowns are breaking, I've been seeing more of them randomly. And in the conversations with them, I'm seeing a lot of mean-ish comments along the lines of "haha, you did something I'm not used to".
For example, in the past month, I've gotten called out for:
- asking a guy at a literal commie beer event if he was a "comrade"
- using the metric system
- moving away from a boring conversation topic by asking a person what their job is, without a good convo transition
- saying colonisation changed African countries
- saying conservatives care more about aesthetics
- joking that I pray to Lenin every morning (thank you lib for pointing out that this isn't what socialism is)
Honestly sarcasm is good and fine with friends. Like, if the love is clearly there, then ya tease me a bit. Dunno, but it feels like these people treat conversations as a competitive sport. Oh ya, these people are all massive libs as well.
America is not a monolith, it is big and attitudes vary across it and within it, and any generalization this broad you make about its culture is gonna be wrong enough times that it is useless. The truth is some Americans are like that and some aren't and for all sorts of reasons. But while we're playing at this bad game...
I have lived for extended periods of time in several countries, one of which is America. Americans are not in my experience more prone to either jokey masculine ball-busting or actual snootiness and criticism than any other anglo country, though they are moreso than many non-anglo places. Ball-busting is not uncommon in America but in the UK and England especially it is a sport. Men in England will stop you on the street because they thought of a mean joke to tell you about your appearance, and expect you to laugh, and it happens all the time. That exact 'conversation as competition' thing is stronger there than anywhere I have lived, but points are scored by being 'funny' rather than correct, as it may be in America. They are also terrible about using it to enforce norms, though, jokes or no. The comparison on snark levels in every way comes out worse for the English. Its just bants. Americans are, as someone else said, usually too concerned with what they are about to say to really worry about what you are saying at all.
That said. There are whole cities in America with the rep of everyone being an asshole to strangers (East Coast), though there are also states with the rep of high-strung passive-aggression where people will only ever be totally nice... to your face (Middle Coast). Could be people are just genuinely nice and considerate in my part of it (West Coast). That says nothing of value though because people are very nice here but there is a great deal of incestuous child molestation and everyone knows someone in the KKK (PNW).
One thing I will say though. The sliver of Americans that are the worst for just annoying corrective snark, by a mile, is politically active people on the left. You get this behavior from democrats and communists alike, unforgivably in the latter's case since it is liberalism of the highest order. The internet is to blame I think in that case.
So totally generalising here (sorry again). But I found East Coasters a bit more tolerable as they'd voice their frustration directly. There's been many times that I feel someone from the West Coast is annoyed, but they're trying their damnest to be positive. Or maybe I'm totally wrong here, as I haven't traveled enough.
I love to generalize myself tbf do it all the time its just a game, we are just playing as long as everyone reading us understands it isn't real - especially about California lol. For every Californian 'type', there are more 'atypical' in California than there are people overall in other states. I definitely think you are correct there, there is a fake nice problem, there is a smile through the pain problem. But idk Californians are not non-confrontational or repressed by any means. Just wait until someone gets their drive through order wrong
Ya I agree with this