I also never seem to be able to avoid messing things up when I'm in public, and I feel like I can't just be normal around people. I'd say that I can't in part because of ASD; but really mainly it's because I want (I believe that I need) people to like me, & to be able to feel that people still value & even love me for who I'm able to be.
I'm no good at anything though, and nothing ever works out, and my body keeps getting fucked up every time I try to reach past my present limitations (currently my kneecap is broke, cause I fell on the stairs at work). So I feel like I got nothing I can do anymore but sit at home & play videogames in the dark.
We smol, so fast answers is not our thing. Also, idk, I feel helping people kinda helps me. I was tutoring remotely someone last year, kinda nice feeling when they got their marks for exam. Although I’m thinking of doing it next year, but it’s hard to apply to official orgs without fancy diplomas :angery:
separately, cooking is great for fucking around. I’ve fucked up jelly three times and bread two times in the last two weeks (was gaming one time ironically :gamer-gulag: ), but it’s edible. I shall achieve bread one day