i was just trying to vent but obviously i shouldn't have

i also didn't want people to be able to "smear shit on walls" or for me to be able to do anything without consequence

i was just fed up with how i felt like I wasn't being treated as someone who was trying- Every time I've done something wrong I've tried to ask for forgiveness and to work through it, but I'm still treated like someone who is being malicious

I did make that "vaguepost" about the controversies back in the olden days, but that wasn't because I'm a wrecker. It's because this is an alt for a string of accounts that goes back to the site's creation, and I legitimately just thought that whole thing had mostly blown over because it was resolved pretty quickly based on what I remember.

it's really hard to feel like i'm going to have a place in society if i can't even articulate my feelings to the people on the bear site without coming across as an asshole. i wish i knew where to go from here but after all the responses I got i just feel... sapped.

i'm going to be transparent. i'm primarily making this second post because i need reassurance after what everybody said. i feel completely and utterly worthless now. i legimately do not know what to do im so sorry