I don't know what to do, though. After last night everyone (understandably) hates me and I can't do anything about it. It actually sort of... physically hurts.

fuck you all can't even let the neurodivergent safe space be the fucking neurodivergent safe space

either I'm so deranged I can't see anything right (possible), or the farthest-left-leaning people I know of treat their 'undesirables'... like this. just fucking irony poisoned mocking high-school bully tier bullshit.

Either way, I don't want to live in a world like this. I don't know how but I'd rather be dead then wake up to an inbox full of scathing replies and more irony-poisoned bullshit . It's like each remark is a fucking scar on my soul and nobody gets it . There's no fucking hope in this shit world for me and there never will be.

Hope you all have fun kicking puppies

Fucking shitheads

Please at least pretend to let this be a place where I'm allowed to raise concerns I have instead of just hugboxland.

I'm probably going to regret this when I wake up... :side-eye-2:

I promise I am not trying to be disingenous or accusatory. I legitimately just do not understand why such a feature would not be added except for those reasons, or a lack of developer power (which is fair). This is not an attempt to accuse you. I simply do not understand what other reasons there are to not include the suggested feature.

Usage of it would be entirely up to the mod's discretion. If the addition of the "kiddy glove ban" wasn't too difficult to implement, then the only reason NOT to add it would be out of distaste for ND people. This wouldn't be used on people spamming slurs or racial epithets, but rather on rare cases where users are very obviously having a hard time or a sudden 90 degree turn into panicked arguing.

The kid glove part is other users responding to a post asking “whoa, where did this come from, you feeling okay?”

I'm sorry, but this just shows a fundamental misunderstanding of what happens here with RSD. It's not the lack of support in general that's the issue, but the immense feeling of rejection from a figure of authority. AT BEST someone who is given support from other users, but only cold, emotionless enforcement or outright hostility from the moderators, will grow to despise the moderators but not anyone else. That's assuming that they don't turn all of the negative feelings inward and that could lead to actual self harm or worse.

If the user cannot step back and self crit or at least log off and cool off, what loss is it to the community that they are banned?

A community is made up of users. This mindset is just inherently exclusionary to those who do not "fit in" already in other spaces. So, ND people, people with extremely difficult to deal with mental disorders, etc. The point of the feature, either way, is to help users 'cool off'. I do not see why that would be an issue. The only reason to not add this feature would be if you think banned users MUST experience some form of mental suffering, which is just an absurd thing to make people feel over the culture integrity of a fucking lefty forum.

idk tbh

It's too broad but I also don't want to make the mods work even harder. I don't know if there's a compromise but maybe replacing it with a more neutral catch-all label could work, possibly one that leans in to how easy it is to make a new account. Just like, "Hostility" or something.

If someone posts some slurs in an emotional moment, does the context really matter for site vibe maintenance? Individual users should not be coddled for the health of the site as a whole.

Absolutely,

I don't think we should just let people go off on a massive tirade without stopping them. What we need is some sort of "kiddy glove" (an effective one to stop people, that isn't just removing posts) to stop a meltdown or issue without causing any spiralling or making it likely for them to make a new account and cause repeat offenses (or start wrecking out of spite).

I think a "reflavored ban" would work wonders. If the moderators had some sort of button they could press that would ban (possibly in a reversible way but IDK if that's possible given what @WhyEssEff said) someone, while simultaneously sending them a message reassuring them that this is not intended out of hostility or because they were "being wrong" but rather an action taken to preserve the user's mental health, I think it would be amazing. It may seem sort of lib and weird but making a regular ban and this kind of ban two separate actions would already be an improvement, because the user would see that the action wasn't being taken as some form of moral judgement. As someone who experiences RSD (or RSD-like, IDK there's no diagnosis for it other than being ND), I think this would entirely eliminate a large portion of the issue when it comes to people who do experience RSD.

Yeah, but that definition is more likely to just hit people who are having breakdowns or temporary hiccups then actual dedicated trolls. It's super obvious when someone is from KiwiFarms or some shit, they're not 1000 level gigabrained masterminds (I've redacted this part because actually KiwiFarms users are really good at manipulating people into self-harming behaviors. It's terrifying). I'm willing to bet that the majority of the people hit by bans are mentally struggling people either dealing with some form of RSD that was triggered by removal or an argument, or general anxiety, possibly having their behavioral patterns copied by future trolls to ensure similar things keep happening.

i think what gets interpreted as "bad-faith" is EXTREMELY, understandably but extremely, wide. I've never one acted in bad faith on this site, and I have gotten multiple warnings, passive-aggressive messages, and near-ban-threats over what were effectively either just other people interpreting my ND ass in a way I didn't intend, or me having outright panic attacks. I know the chance of this is too low to ever believe it could happen, but I think my personality just outright overlaps too much with whatever persona wreckers put on.

It's like I'm inherently antisocial in my behavior or something.

Either way, it would be nice if mods didn't ban for things that were extremely obviously emotionally (as in, anxiety emotionally, not chud emotionally) driven. It's very likely to cause people to spiral because of the loss of resources (whoever is having a panic attack on this site either has no other resources to cope with it or doesn't know how) or turn any anxiety and anger inwards and pile more blame on themselves.

It's a massively unhealthy situation as it is.

I get the impression that the “sorry” one is more about people who do so manipulatively whereas I do it out of habit

i honestly don't know what the difference is. thats probably a bad sign but yeah

i generally say it when i feel bad but i also say it when i don't know if i should feel bad or not. and then of course because my brain hates me sometimes i retroactively think i never actually felt sorry even though i did and i just stopped feeling sorry because someone forgave me a bit ago

the person who posted this on reddit is just weird, like yeah the woman has probably too many red flags but making fun of her publicly on a massive social media platform is pretty fucked up

i think "too picky" shouldn't be taken as a moral criticism, honestly. They're definitely within their rights to be as picky as they want. The only issue is that they might make themselves miserable in the process.

same

That explains a lot, thanks for coming out and saying it (I probably should have just checked the Git, sorry for being :sus-deep: )

I think the problem is that "reactionary scum" is always going to have gray areas that people argue over for hours. Our gray areas are much smaller, because we're actively anti-sectarian, but they're still there. Usually because of obscure internet subjects no one cares about.

I would like to expand on my previous comment about the site's culture.

I get the impression that the site has gone through a lot of stuff (And I apologize if I've added to any amount of it). Because of that, it feels like the entire site is constantly on-edge. It's sort of fucked up, but I think this is actually the intended effect most wreckers and trolls want.

This place is really quite nice. Everyone here ultimately wants what's best for everyone and I love that. I just don't know if the general mood of the community as it is right now is ever going to be productive. I've seen even people who are entirely unrelated to any issues just go to each other's throats on here, for normal, completely inane shit. I was one of those people.

I don't think the culture as it is right now is healthy for anyone, and I have no idea where we would start on improving it. The site is definitely still worth keeping around, but I would really like people here to look into the growth of alternative platforms as well, if only because a single FBI sting could get this one website knocked out, and that's dangerous opsec.

I'm going to remove all references to the previous specific controversies from my posts.

Edit: Oh you were telling me what JAQ means, I thought you were saying that as a statement directly against the post or something. Still removing the references to specific events.

I think I misremembered the amount, sorry. I really don't want to criticize the staff for anything. I'm trying to raise concerns related to the logistical mass of data in the modlog. That's the only point I really want to get across. I only highlighted controversies and stuff to get that point across, and show how a massive glut of data could negatively affect the user experience.

I respect your decision to disengage, I'm just leaving this comment for anyone else browsing, in case there is confusion.

EDIT: I don't know what JAQ means :side-eye-1: