i was just trying to vent but obviously i shouldn't have

i also didn't want people to be able to "smear shit on walls" or for me to be able to do anything without consequence

i was just fed up with how i felt like I wasn't being treated as someone who was trying- Every time I've done something wrong I've tried to ask for forgiveness and to work through it, but I'm still treated like someone who is being malicious

I did make that "vaguepost" about the controversies back in the olden days, but that wasn't because I'm a wrecker. It's because this is an alt for a string of accounts that goes back to the site's creation, and I legitimately just thought that whole thing had mostly blown over because it was resolved pretty quickly based on what I remember.

it's really hard to feel like i'm going to have a place in society if i can't even articulate my feelings to the people on the bear site without coming across as an asshole. i wish i knew where to go from here but after all the responses I got i just feel... sapped.

i'm going to be transparent. i'm primarily making this second post because i need reassurance after what everybody said. i feel completely and utterly worthless now. i legimately do not know what to do im so sorry

  • SadStruggle92 [none/use name]
    ·
    2 years ago

    i was just fed up with how i felt like I wasn’t being treated as someone who was trying- Every time I’ve done something wrong I’ve tried to ask for forgiveness and to work through it, but I’m still treated like someone who is being malicious

    I'm gonna be honest; I believe that this forum may not be the place that is able to give you what you need. We are unfortunately not actually a group of IRL friends with intimate knowledge of each-other's life-circumstances, personal histories & struggles, with an earnest desire to engage in good faith with one-another to overcome those struggles. We're all mostly a bunch of disconnected neurotic strangers who can occasionally feed off of each-other's parasocial energy. Frankly, unfortunately, even when we are aware of the needs of one another, and work to resolve them, these are not always easily reconcilable needs.

    I do think you should probably look for something else somewhere before trying to over-invest in this site again.

    It’s because this is an alt for a string of accounts that goes back to the site’s creation, and I legitimately just thought that whole thing had mostly blown over because it was resolved pretty quickly based on what I remember.

    ...

    i’m going to be transparent. i’m primarily making this second post because i need reassurance after what everybody said. i feel completely and utterly worthless now. i legimately do not know what to do im so sorry

    See, that's sort of what I'm talking about here.

    • stolase [undecided]
      ·
      2 years ago

      I don't know what to do, though. After last night everyone (understandably) hates me and I can't do anything about it. It actually sort of... physically hurts.

      • silent_water [she/her]
        ·
        2 years ago

        mate, most everyone has no clue who you are. and those who do remember whatever happened last night - idk, I was taking a nap or something - will forget in a week or a month. the only one who can hold it against you... is you.

      • SadStruggle92 [none/use name]
        ·
        2 years ago

        Normally I consider this to be an over-recommended solution instead of just directly addressing or solving a problem a particular person has... But in this instance I would say, yeah if it's financially available to you, you should probably seek professional therapy & maybe medication for mood regulation.

        I say this for the specific reason that it seems to me that you have kind of an inordinately hard time directly articulating what the actual problem you are having here is, and I think that is probably something that you would benefit from trying to identify more concretely.