“Feral children” studied by psychologists, for example, lack the social component, where someone plugged into VR... lacks the physical component. One is alienated from birth and never fully develops, wheras the other can have an “unbecoming” as they unlearn the reality of labor and prosociality.
I feel like a large part of what is wrong with me is that I have not-insusbstantial portions of both of these problems baked into me, on account of how I grew up.
IDK that there's a realistic path wherein I become a "fully self-actualized human being" on my own accord.
I mean, it's not something you're meant to do alone. "Humans are social beings" as they say. Getting better often means experimenting with the social world around you to see what works for you (and them) and what doesn't. People who get overwhelmed and recede into themselves are avoiding learning experiences because they fear failure, but most of what understanding what people are, what their needs are, and how you fit into everything means experiencing that social world for yourself (in its own way, it's a kind of Practice). And, in turn, the hope is that those people will also support you. This unspoken communal giving-back has helped humans survive fpr millions of years, so it should be innate to us. But capitalism has broken down such 'outdated' sensibilities, so finding the right people to provide a sense of community is much more of a struggle now.
TL;DR: Human growth is dialectical. You can't grow alone, but by understanding the way you respond to actual social interactions.
I mean, it’s not something you’re meant to do alone. “Humans are social beings” as they say. Getting better often means experimenting with the social world around you to see what works for you (and them) and what doesn’t.
The thing is you're right, but the only thing that seems to "work" for me & others is my general isolation from all social life.
I dunno; 30 years is short historically, but it's a lot of life to live for one person, very close to half the total life expectancy of most the world. And in my case, for as much of my life as I can honestly remember, the answer to the questions of "Where do I belong?", and "What should I be doing with myself?" have been very explicitly given to me. Those answers in order are, "Somewhere away from everyone else where you will not bother them.", and "Whatever the people who are in charge of you are telling you to do."
That's how it was when I was growing up, and that's still how it's been turning out as an adult.
I'm sorry it's a lot of work to explain in detail what I mean by all these things & been sitting here for the last couple hours trying to articulate them, but I just can't seem to write it all down in a way that's both informative & concise.
I feel like a large part of what is wrong with me is that I have not-insusbstantial portions of both of these problems baked into me, on account of how I grew up.
IDK that there's a realistic path wherein I become a "fully self-actualized human being" on my own accord.
I mean, it's not something you're meant to do alone. "Humans are social beings" as they say. Getting better often means experimenting with the social world around you to see what works for you (and them) and what doesn't. People who get overwhelmed and recede into themselves are avoiding learning experiences because they fear failure, but most of what understanding what people are, what their needs are, and how you fit into everything means experiencing that social world for yourself (in its own way, it's a kind of Practice). And, in turn, the hope is that those people will also support you. This unspoken communal giving-back has helped humans survive fpr millions of years, so it should be innate to us. But capitalism has broken down such 'outdated' sensibilities, so finding the right people to provide a sense of community is much more of a struggle now.
TL;DR: Human growth is dialectical. You can't grow alone, but by understanding the way you respond to actual social interactions.
The thing is you're right, but the only thing that seems to "work" for me & others is my general isolation from all social life.
I dunno; 30 years is short historically, but it's a lot of life to live for one person, very close to half the total life expectancy of most the world. And in my case, for as much of my life as I can honestly remember, the answer to the questions of "Where do I belong?", and "What should I be doing with myself?" have been very explicitly given to me. Those answers in order are, "Somewhere away from everyone else where you will not bother them.", and "Whatever the people who are in charge of you are telling you to do."
That's how it was when I was growing up, and that's still how it's been turning out as an adult.
I'm sorry it's a lot of work to explain in detail what I mean by all these things & been sitting here for the last couple hours trying to articulate them, but I just can't seem to write it all down in a way that's both informative & concise.
:meow-hug: