Oh sure, loads. The gender binary is and has always been trash and I've pretty much always fallen and been identified as being outside of it to some degree or another (I've always been gender non-conforming, now largely consider myself butch and gender-agnostic) so I have spent a ton of time doing that gender math and basically settled on "i don't care what gender I am, I don't care what gender people think I am as long as they don't have the same expectations of me that society has for women" and stopped bothering with it.
It was a big moment for me when I realized that it's never actually bothered me that people see me as a woman, it's only bothered me when I'm seen as incapable on the basis of being a woman 💀 or like, otherwise excluded from conversations or activities or whatever because I'm a woman. Similarly it doesn't bother me when people perceive me as a man, it only bothers me when people have then used that to try to exclude me from stuff because they don't think men should or do care about things. I've never really been bothered when people perceive me as being non-binary either, except for this one person who seemed really annoyed about they/them-ing me, like they were mad they couldn't figure out what gender I've got going on enough to be rude about it in a less passive-aggressive way lol
Another eye-opening thing for me was realizing that I spent a lot of time existing in socially-recognized, unofficial nonbinary genders.
Like, as a little kid, my gender was tomboy. That's how adults perceived me and referred to me in most cases, and was how I liked to be perceived. There was this bullshit expectation that I'd grow out of it, since it's one of the "unofficial" genders that western society definitely does recognize up until you're a certain age — but that was kind of how everyone identified me up until then.
There was a bit of an awkward period between tomboy and butch where my gender was kind of like "girl, but really weird about it" or just like generic baby lesbian, but all of those gender presentations pretty much kept people from expecting things of me that I didn't want them to, so they all worked for me just fine.
I didn't really have a point I was getting at here, but hopefully this was helpful or at worst a neutral use of your time :stalin-heart:
Oh sure, loads. The gender binary is and has always been trash and I've pretty much always fallen and been identified as being outside of it to some degree or another (I've always been gender non-conforming, now largely consider myself butch and gender-agnostic) so I have spent a ton of time doing that gender math and basically settled on "i don't care what gender I am, I don't care what gender people think I am as long as they don't have the same expectations of me that society has for women" and stopped bothering with it.
It was a big moment for me when I realized that it's never actually bothered me that people see me as a woman, it's only bothered me when I'm seen as incapable on the basis of being a woman 💀 or like, otherwise excluded from conversations or activities or whatever because I'm a woman. Similarly it doesn't bother me when people perceive me as a man, it only bothers me when people have then used that to try to exclude me from stuff because they don't think men should or do care about things. I've never really been bothered when people perceive me as being non-binary either, except for this one person who seemed really annoyed about they/them-ing me, like they were mad they couldn't figure out what gender I've got going on enough to be rude about it in a less passive-aggressive way lol
Another eye-opening thing for me was realizing that I spent a lot of time existing in socially-recognized, unofficial nonbinary genders.
Like, as a little kid, my gender was tomboy. That's how adults perceived me and referred to me in most cases, and was how I liked to be perceived. There was this bullshit expectation that I'd grow out of it, since it's one of the "unofficial" genders that western society definitely does recognize up until you're a certain age — but that was kind of how everyone identified me up until then.
There was a bit of an awkward period between tomboy and butch where my gender was kind of like "girl, but really weird about it" or just like generic baby lesbian, but all of those gender presentations pretty much kept people from expecting things of me that I didn't want them to, so they all worked for me just fine.
I didn't really have a point I was getting at here, but hopefully this was helpful or at worst a neutral use of your time :stalin-heart: