Seems legit.

It's like one of those choose your own adventure Goosebumps book but you keep choosing the wrong page to turn to but also you keep not dying because it's a new experimental version of Goosebumps that just eternally gets worse forever without you actually dying to see how long you keep reading

I want off R L Steins's wild ride

This is all just a prank set up by our collective older brother, Marshall

ba-da-da dat-dat du-du

Some kid somewhere needs to tell his parents the truth about who broke their upstairs window.