[CW: Mentions of Bigotry Such as Racism, Transmisogyny, and Enbyphobia]
I am:
- black
- transfeminine
- non-binary
The LGBTQ+ community has a large portion of people who are:
- racist
- transmisogynistic
- enbyphobic
When I see someone say something like "I support the LGBTQ+ community," I am not able to be convinced that this person would not be a bigot to me.
It seems to me that this pride month will still have much shame for me.
You're thinking of this backwards. You ARE a part of the lgbtq+ community. There are just people out there who claim to support the community but are actually hypocrites. Remember that Boris Yelstin used to call himself a communist. Some people are just liars
LGBTQ+ community does not sprout into existence because of chaserposts on
, it is a community of people who are oppressed by the heterocisnormative standards and would benefit from their abolishment. There is no fault in your part if somebody does not understand this, you are LGBT nonetheless. On another hand, I'm sorry that people are dickheads.
Not everyone who is part of any community aggregate is a good person. But, out there (especially in the age of the internet) are still enough folks who can help support and bring out the best self that you want to live as. And it's in those people that you cherish and cherish you back that you find your chosen family and with it, the serenity that comes with belonging as your best self.
I think you're absolutely right on that. There are plenty of those who call themselves allies who are actively hurting the community with bigotry and simple ignorance. I have a friend who loves and wanted to adopt a currently cracking transmasc kiddo (part of extended family) but his... ridiculous TERFish beliefs might end up killing this poor boy. I think i got through to him but I'm not sure. If anyone has stuff on fluidity or like 'dysmorphia for dummies' i could use some help explaining just how important it is to be in the right body and shit before he hurts them or their relationship irrevocably.
That brings me to my next ramble. I wanted to share after reading your post headline that i got to feel like "part of the community" by way of bigotry for the first time since i "joined" y'all. I came out as ace to my therapist and also that friend i mentioned who both told me (in so many words) i didn't know what i was talking about... which was super whiplash for a cishet presenting white man in his 40s. Like damn dogg, being believed was a noticeable privilege to lose.
I can't help but wonder how much of what i thought was privilege was my simply holding an opinion of the privileged. It was never mine, i never got anything from it but the illusion of comradery. i was fooled by the proximity to privilege, because the opinions i used to hold just didn't challenge the privileged. i was allowed in the room but i was played.
I dunno if I'm saying this right but you feel me?
Ramble aside i can't wait to see what other fun lessons i shall learn tasting this rainbow.
Anyway now i have a more visceral understanding of that flavor. Bitter baby, bad. Extremely annoying and bad. If i were a younger man these people questioning me would make me question myself kinda bad.
Maybe its cheesy but the upside of that experience made me feel solid dairy with the community for the first time.
Anyway i was all over the place but if nothing else sticks i am again asking for your support in that i would love good material focusing on the importance of acceptance by peers/parents when a trans kid comes out. Thru won't get it from their family, if they get it from anyone it's gonna be him. Believe it or not, my dumb-ass friend is both thoughtful and receptive to me, but he's coming from the dumbest place imaginable and i would really love some help from the trans perspective as i can only guess what it is like.